Bad breath, stale smoke, old smoke on clothes, at the end of the day smoking stinks.
If you are a smoker I can understand you not realizing it but please believe me that when you come near me even in most cases an ashtray smells better. Well not really but you needed to be compared to something.
At times as a non smoker I may come off to some people as a jerk and I guess I am okay with that. I only have one focus and that's to stop people from smoking. I want to help those who want to quit and I want to spawn education all over the world to see that kids don't start smoking.
So I want you to look at it this way. Can I stand around you and fart? I bet you wouldn't appreciate that and on top of that you would for sure think I was very rude. Well smoking stinks and it is self induced. Smokers have a choice where farting is a natural occurrence that comes from your body. Of course it would be rude to stand around someone and fart but why isn't standing around someone and smoking rude? Of course its rude but it for some reason seems to be accepted.
Is it really fair for me to have to endure the terrible smell of stale and second hand smoke? Is it fair that because smoking stinks I have to suffer a sore throat anytime I get near a smoker. Why should non smokers being the ones walking around. Its about time the smokers were the ones that started walking around. Personally I am tired of walking into clouds of smoke.
OK lets just say that we all agree that smoking stinks but as a smoker you really don't care what I think. That's fine but at some point you do have to have some feelings and care about the kids that have to endure the gross smell. As adults all too often we tend to ignore children's concerns. As far as I am concerned smoking around a child is just as bad of abuse as breaking their wrist.
Lets just say that we don't care about the fact that smoking stinks. At some point we do have to care about the fact that our kids have to breath in the poisons we are putting out there. So I guess we are okay with poisoning our kids and setting them up for almost a certain death in the future. Please don't call yourself a good parent if you smoke around your kids.
Bottom line is smoking stinks but worse off smoking kills.
Dale is a two pack a day smoker who quit and proved to everyone around him that anyone can quit if they really want to.
Since quitting Dales main focus is helping others quit and working on educating kids into never starting. Some of his tactics and articles can be a little off centre but he doesn't care if it is helping people to butt out.
Check out his website at http://stopthecigarettes.info/
Source:
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Improve Your Communication Skills
Communication Skills - Start Here!
Why you need to get your message across
Effective communication is all about conveying your messages to other people clearly and unambiguously. It's also about receiving information that others are sending to you, with as little distortion as possible.
Doing this involves effort from both the sender of the message and the receiver. And it's a process that can be fraught with error, with messages muddled by the sender, or misinterpreted by the recipient. When this isn't detected, it can cause tremendous confusion, wasted effort and missed opportunity.
In fact, communication is only successful when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information as a result of the communication.
By successfully getting your message across, you convey your thoughts and ideas effectively. When not successful, the thoughts and ideas that you actually send do not necessarily reflect what you think, causing a communications breakdown and creating roadblocks that stand in the way of your goals – both personally and professionally.
In a recent survey of recruiters from companies with more than 50,000 employees, communication skills were cited as the single more important decisive factor in choosing managers. The survey, conducted by the University of Pittsburgh’s Katz Business School, points out that communication skills, including written and oral presentations, as well as an ability to work with others, are the main factor contributing to job success.
In spite of the increasing importance placed on communication skills, many individuals continue to struggle, unable to communicate their thoughts and ideas effectively – whether in verbal or written format. This inability makes it nearly impossible for them to compete effectively in the workplace, and stands in the way of career progression.
Being able to communicate effectively is therefore essential if you want to build a successful career. To do this, you must understand what your message is, what audience you are sending it to, and how it will be perceived. You must also weigh-in the circumstances surrounding your communications, such as situational and cultural context.
Communications Skills – The Importance of Removing Barriers
Problems with communication can pop-up at every stage of the communication process (which consists of the sender, encoding, the channel, decoding, the receiver, feedback and the context – see the diagram below). At each stage, there is the potential for misunderstanding and confusion.
To be an effective communicator and to get your point across without misunderstanding and confusion, your goal should be to lessen the frequency of problems at each stage of this process, with clear, concise, accurate, well-planned communications. We follow the process through below:
Source...
As the source of the message, you need to be clear about why you're communicating, and what you want to communicate. You also need to be confident that the information you're communicating is useful and accurate.
Message...
The message is the information that you want to communicate.
Encoding...
This is the process of transferring the information you want to communicate into a form that can be sent and correctly decoded at the other end. Your success in encoding depends partly on your ability to convey information clearly and simply, but also on your ability to anticipate and eliminate sources of confusion (for example, cultural issues, mistaken assumptions, and missing information.)
A key part of this is knowing your audience: Failure to understand who you are communicating with will result in delivering messages that are misunderstood.
Channel...
Messages are conveyed through channels, with verbal channels including face-to-face meetings, telephone and videoconferencing; and written channels including letters, emails, memos and reports.
Different channels have different strengths and weaknesses. For example, it's not particularly effective to give a long list of directions verbally, while you'll quickly cause problems if you give someone negative feedback using email.
Decoding...
Just as successful encoding is a skill, so is successful decoding (involving, for example, taking the time to read a message carefully, or listen actively to it.) Just as confusion can arise from errors in encoding, it can also arise from decoding errors. This is particularly the case if the decoder doesn't have enough knowledge to understand the message.
Receiver...
Your message is delivered to individual members of your audience. No doubt, you have in mind the actions or reactions you hope your message will get from this audience. Keep in mind, though, that each of these individuals enters into the communication process with ideas and feelings that will undoubtedly influence their understanding of your message, and their response. To be a successful communicator, you should consider these before delivering your message, and act appropriately.
Feedback...
Your audience will provide you with feedback, as verbal and nonverbal reactions to your communicated message. Pay close attention to this feedback, as it is the only thing that can give you confidence that your audience has understood your message. If you find that there has been a misunderstanding, at least you have the opportunity to send the message a second time.
Context...
The situation in which your message is delivered is the context. This may include the surrounding environment or broader culture (corporate culture, international cultures, and so on).
Removing Barriers at All These Stages
To deliver your messages effectively, you must commit to breaking down the barriers that exist within each of these stages of the communication process.
Let’s begin with the message itself. If your message is too lengthy, disorganized, or contains errors, you can expect the message to be misunderstood and misinterpreted. Use of poor verbal and body language can also confuse the message.
Barriers in context tend to stem from senders offering too much information too fast. When in doubt here, less is oftentimes more. It is best to be mindful of the demands on other people’s time, especially in today’s ultra-busy society.
Once you understand this, you need to work to understand your audience’s culture, making sure you can converse and deliver your message to people of different backgrounds and cultures within your own organization, in your country and even abroad.
The first skill that you'll learn in this communications skills section of MindTools.com is 'How to Make a Great First Impression": This is essential if you're going to have the chance to communicate your message. To read this, click 'Next article' below. (You can learn over 50 more, equally powerful techniques in our members area, the Career Excellence Club.)
Source:
Why you need to get your message across
Effective communication is all about conveying your messages to other people clearly and unambiguously. It's also about receiving information that others are sending to you, with as little distortion as possible.
Doing this involves effort from both the sender of the message and the receiver. And it's a process that can be fraught with error, with messages muddled by the sender, or misinterpreted by the recipient. When this isn't detected, it can cause tremendous confusion, wasted effort and missed opportunity.
In fact, communication is only successful when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information as a result of the communication.
By successfully getting your message across, you convey your thoughts and ideas effectively. When not successful, the thoughts and ideas that you actually send do not necessarily reflect what you think, causing a communications breakdown and creating roadblocks that stand in the way of your goals – both personally and professionally.
In a recent survey of recruiters from companies with more than 50,000 employees, communication skills were cited as the single more important decisive factor in choosing managers. The survey, conducted by the University of Pittsburgh’s Katz Business School, points out that communication skills, including written and oral presentations, as well as an ability to work with others, are the main factor contributing to job success.
In spite of the increasing importance placed on communication skills, many individuals continue to struggle, unable to communicate their thoughts and ideas effectively – whether in verbal or written format. This inability makes it nearly impossible for them to compete effectively in the workplace, and stands in the way of career progression.
Being able to communicate effectively is therefore essential if you want to build a successful career. To do this, you must understand what your message is, what audience you are sending it to, and how it will be perceived. You must also weigh-in the circumstances surrounding your communications, such as situational and cultural context.
Communications Skills – The Importance of Removing Barriers
Problems with communication can pop-up at every stage of the communication process (which consists of the sender, encoding, the channel, decoding, the receiver, feedback and the context – see the diagram below). At each stage, there is the potential for misunderstanding and confusion.
To be an effective communicator and to get your point across without misunderstanding and confusion, your goal should be to lessen the frequency of problems at each stage of this process, with clear, concise, accurate, well-planned communications. We follow the process through below:
Source...
As the source of the message, you need to be clear about why you're communicating, and what you want to communicate. You also need to be confident that the information you're communicating is useful and accurate.
Message...
The message is the information that you want to communicate.
Encoding...
This is the process of transferring the information you want to communicate into a form that can be sent and correctly decoded at the other end. Your success in encoding depends partly on your ability to convey information clearly and simply, but also on your ability to anticipate and eliminate sources of confusion (for example, cultural issues, mistaken assumptions, and missing information.)
A key part of this is knowing your audience: Failure to understand who you are communicating with will result in delivering messages that are misunderstood.
Channel...
Messages are conveyed through channels, with verbal channels including face-to-face meetings, telephone and videoconferencing; and written channels including letters, emails, memos and reports.
Different channels have different strengths and weaknesses. For example, it's not particularly effective to give a long list of directions verbally, while you'll quickly cause problems if you give someone negative feedback using email.
Decoding...
Just as successful encoding is a skill, so is successful decoding (involving, for example, taking the time to read a message carefully, or listen actively to it.) Just as confusion can arise from errors in encoding, it can also arise from decoding errors. This is particularly the case if the decoder doesn't have enough knowledge to understand the message.
Receiver...
Your message is delivered to individual members of your audience. No doubt, you have in mind the actions or reactions you hope your message will get from this audience. Keep in mind, though, that each of these individuals enters into the communication process with ideas and feelings that will undoubtedly influence their understanding of your message, and their response. To be a successful communicator, you should consider these before delivering your message, and act appropriately.
Feedback...
Your audience will provide you with feedback, as verbal and nonverbal reactions to your communicated message. Pay close attention to this feedback, as it is the only thing that can give you confidence that your audience has understood your message. If you find that there has been a misunderstanding, at least you have the opportunity to send the message a second time.
Context...
The situation in which your message is delivered is the context. This may include the surrounding environment or broader culture (corporate culture, international cultures, and so on).
Removing Barriers at All These Stages
To deliver your messages effectively, you must commit to breaking down the barriers that exist within each of these stages of the communication process.
Let’s begin with the message itself. If your message is too lengthy, disorganized, or contains errors, you can expect the message to be misunderstood and misinterpreted. Use of poor verbal and body language can also confuse the message.
Barriers in context tend to stem from senders offering too much information too fast. When in doubt here, less is oftentimes more. It is best to be mindful of the demands on other people’s time, especially in today’s ultra-busy society.
Once you understand this, you need to work to understand your audience’s culture, making sure you can converse and deliver your message to people of different backgrounds and cultures within your own organization, in your country and even abroad.
The first skill that you'll learn in this communications skills section of MindTools.com is 'How to Make a Great First Impression": This is essential if you're going to have the chance to communicate your message. To read this, click 'Next article' below. (You can learn over 50 more, equally powerful techniques in our members area, the Career Excellence Club.)
Source:
How to Manage Your Time
How to Manage Your Time
Have a lot to accomplish? Learn to focus on what is most important. Here's a quick, efficient and organized technique for completing tasks:
edit Steps
1. 1
2. 2
Assign realistic priorities to each task.
o Priority 1: due today or tomorrow
o Priority 2: due in one week
o Priority 3: due in one month
o Priority 4: due next year
3. 3
Balance your effort. Work on small portions every day.
o Do the daily tasks. Concentrate on what is at hand, then move on to the next daily task. Once daily tasks are completed, proceed to the next step, if desired.
o Do the weekly tasks. Once weekly tasks are completed, proceed to the next step, if desired.
o Do the monthly tasks. Once monthly tasks are completed, proceed to the next step, if desired.
o Do the yearly tasks.
o Small portions of the future tasks will have been done ahead of time.
4. 4
Decide upon the time of day. Some people are more productive in the morning than the evening.
5. 5
Manage time in increments. Play a game with yourself by competing against time.
o Work in fifteen minute, half hour or hour intervals.
o Give yourself a time limit to complete a portion of a task or the entire task.
6. 6
Take a break. Clear your mind and refresh yourself to refocus.
o Decide beforehand on a 5, 10 or 15 minute break and stick to that decision.
o During your break, reasses to develop a new perspective.
o Breaks provide incentive by giving you something to look forward to.
7. 7
Keep track of your progress.
o Cross things off the list as they are completed.
o You'll feel more relieved and relaxed just by getting through the daily tasks.
o This will give you a sense of accomplishment and spur motivation.
8. 8
Reassess the list.
o Rewrite and reprioritize your list as needed.
o Add new tasks to the list.
o Eliminate certain tasks.
o Delegate tasks to others.
o Use technology to complete tasks more quickly, efficiently or accurately.
9. 9
Make sure to leave time for fun, it doesnt have to be a lot of time but
make sure that you do!
1. 1
Last thing: Sleep 6-8 hours every day. If you don't sleep for proper amount you'll probably suffer from lack of concentration and focus and that won't allow you to function well.
editSupplies
Pencil
Paper
Laptop or Computer
PDA
hi-lighter
pen
edit Tips
Allow for random things to be done between tasks.
Pick subjects and not verbs. List ideas and allot time per subject.
Keep track of your productive time with a chess clock. Set up a more realistic schedule once you understand the actual time it takes to complete a task. Just knowing that a certain task will take no more than a half hour will motivate you to complete it.
Set aside the concept of "everything has to be done yesterday" in order to create realistic priorities.
Don't "spread yourself too thin" by overwhelming your day with an unrealistic schedule that would be difficult to accomplish.
edit Warnings
Be flexible and relax. Allow for the unexpected in life. Other things may take precedence over a rigid and methodical routine. With most unusual circumstances, it may take no more than an hour or a few days to return to your usual schedule.
Source:
Have a lot to accomplish? Learn to focus on what is most important. Here's a quick, efficient and organized technique for completing tasks:
edit Steps
1. 1
2. 2
Assign realistic priorities to each task.
o Priority 1: due today or tomorrow
o Priority 2: due in one week
o Priority 3: due in one month
o Priority 4: due next year
3. 3
Balance your effort. Work on small portions every day.
o Do the daily tasks. Concentrate on what is at hand, then move on to the next daily task. Once daily tasks are completed, proceed to the next step, if desired.
o Do the weekly tasks. Once weekly tasks are completed, proceed to the next step, if desired.
o Do the monthly tasks. Once monthly tasks are completed, proceed to the next step, if desired.
o Do the yearly tasks.
o Small portions of the future tasks will have been done ahead of time.
4. 4
Decide upon the time of day. Some people are more productive in the morning than the evening.
5. 5
Manage time in increments. Play a game with yourself by competing against time.
o Work in fifteen minute, half hour or hour intervals.
o Give yourself a time limit to complete a portion of a task or the entire task.
6. 6
Take a break. Clear your mind and refresh yourself to refocus.
o Decide beforehand on a 5, 10 or 15 minute break and stick to that decision.
o During your break, reasses to develop a new perspective.
o Breaks provide incentive by giving you something to look forward to.
7. 7
Keep track of your progress.
o Cross things off the list as they are completed.
o You'll feel more relieved and relaxed just by getting through the daily tasks.
o This will give you a sense of accomplishment and spur motivation.
8. 8
Reassess the list.
o Rewrite and reprioritize your list as needed.
o Add new tasks to the list.
o Eliminate certain tasks.
o Delegate tasks to others.
o Use technology to complete tasks more quickly, efficiently or accurately.
9. 9
Make sure to leave time for fun, it doesnt have to be a lot of time but
make sure that you do!
1. 1
Last thing: Sleep 6-8 hours every day. If you don't sleep for proper amount you'll probably suffer from lack of concentration and focus and that won't allow you to function well.
editSupplies
Pencil
Paper
Laptop or Computer
PDA
hi-lighter
pen
edit Tips
Allow for random things to be done between tasks.
Pick subjects and not verbs. List ideas and allot time per subject.
Keep track of your productive time with a chess clock. Set up a more realistic schedule once you understand the actual time it takes to complete a task. Just knowing that a certain task will take no more than a half hour will motivate you to complete it.
Set aside the concept of "everything has to be done yesterday" in order to create realistic priorities.
Don't "spread yourself too thin" by overwhelming your day with an unrealistic schedule that would be difficult to accomplish.
edit Warnings
Be flexible and relax. Allow for the unexpected in life. Other things may take precedence over a rigid and methodical routine. With most unusual circumstances, it may take no more than an hour or a few days to return to your usual schedule.
Source:
How to Build Character Through Integrity
How to Build Character Through Integrity
To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man (William Shakespeare, 1564-1616).
The wonderful thing about character and integrity, which are intimately related, is that they're one of the few things in life that no one will ever be able to forcefully take away from you. Your choices are your own. Even if someone can take your life, they can't force you to make a choice that you believe is wrong
The actions below cannot be done at once, nor should they be. Each of them takes time to fully understand and apply towards your life. Learn about your own virtues and values, and how they correspond to your life and the world around you. Follow the steps below to improve yourself by building your character.
edit Steps
1. 1
Understand what character and Integrity are. The definitions of these words are often stretched or misrepresented. Learn what they truly mean:
Character Generator
Professional text, graphics, images and Flash overlay engine
www.medialooks.com
o In this use, Character is the sum of qualities show up in a person or group, moral or ethical strength, and the description of a person's attributes, traits and abilities. Character is who you are. It defines you and guides your actions, hopefully in a positive way.
o Integrity is steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code, being unimpaired, sound, whole and undivided; completeness.
o Integrity can be summed up simply as doing the right thing for the right reason even when no one is watching.
2. 2
Choose a set of rules, morals, or principles that you believe will lead to a happy, satisfying, and righteous life, as well as a better world. You can subscribe to the ethics of a particular religion, or you can develop your own, based on your experiences.
3. 3
Look at the choices you've made in your past, and observe how much you have or haven't lived by those principles. Don't waste time feeling regretful or guilty. Remember that "...until a person can say deeply and honestly, I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday, that person cannot say, I choose otherwise." -Stephen R. Covey.
4. 4
Decide what you must change in your behavior to align your life more closely to what you believe.
5. 5
Be conscious every day of the decisions you make, however big or small, and how close they bring you to being the person you really want to be.
Morality, a Guide for The
9 Dating Mistakes
(Almost) All Christian Singles Make 3 Part Course - Free Download
www.firesprings.com
Lack of Self Confidence?
Would you like to feel more sure of yourself? Free Ebook - Ron Hubbard
www.twth.org.uk
edit Tips
Keep a journal, and record your progress every day.
You'll probably feel your self-confidence and personal strength growing as you face and overcome challenges in sticking to your values, whatever they may be.
Consult the life and work of Victor Frankl, best summarized by this quotation:
"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way."
edit Warnings
Beware of people who'll try and convince you to give up on your character or integrity, saying that nobody's perfect, and taunting you for being such an idealist. The fact that nobody's perfect doesn't mean violating what you believe is right. It's good to learn from our mistakes, but we don't always need to make mistakes in order to learn. Remember that striving to be perfect and being perfect are two different ideas; one is the pursuit of integrity, and the latter is an exercise in futility.
Your character is unique. It may not match with anybody else. So do not try for it. Build it on the basis of your own aptitude and inner light within you. Self assessment, self evaluation, introspection etc work well, but never get disheartened by petty failures and criticism revolving around failures. Stand firm on your convictions. You are bound to succeed.
Source:
To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man (William Shakespeare, 1564-1616).
The wonderful thing about character and integrity, which are intimately related, is that they're one of the few things in life that no one will ever be able to forcefully take away from you. Your choices are your own. Even if someone can take your life, they can't force you to make a choice that you believe is wrong
The actions below cannot be done at once, nor should they be. Each of them takes time to fully understand and apply towards your life. Learn about your own virtues and values, and how they correspond to your life and the world around you. Follow the steps below to improve yourself by building your character.
edit Steps
1. 1
Understand what character and Integrity are. The definitions of these words are often stretched or misrepresented. Learn what they truly mean:
Character Generator
Professional text, graphics, images and Flash overlay engine
www.medialooks.com
o In this use, Character is the sum of qualities show up in a person or group, moral or ethical strength, and the description of a person's attributes, traits and abilities. Character is who you are. It defines you and guides your actions, hopefully in a positive way.
o Integrity is steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code, being unimpaired, sound, whole and undivided; completeness.
o Integrity can be summed up simply as doing the right thing for the right reason even when no one is watching.
2. 2
Choose a set of rules, morals, or principles that you believe will lead to a happy, satisfying, and righteous life, as well as a better world. You can subscribe to the ethics of a particular religion, or you can develop your own, based on your experiences.
3. 3
Look at the choices you've made in your past, and observe how much you have or haven't lived by those principles. Don't waste time feeling regretful or guilty. Remember that "...until a person can say deeply and honestly, I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday, that person cannot say, I choose otherwise." -Stephen R. Covey.
4. 4
Decide what you must change in your behavior to align your life more closely to what you believe.
5. 5
Be conscious every day of the decisions you make, however big or small, and how close they bring you to being the person you really want to be.
Morality, a Guide for The
9 Dating Mistakes
(Almost) All Christian Singles Make 3 Part Course - Free Download
www.firesprings.com
Lack of Self Confidence?
Would you like to feel more sure of yourself? Free Ebook - Ron Hubbard
www.twth.org.uk
edit Tips
Keep a journal, and record your progress every day.
You'll probably feel your self-confidence and personal strength growing as you face and overcome challenges in sticking to your values, whatever they may be.
Consult the life and work of Victor Frankl, best summarized by this quotation:
"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way."
edit Warnings
Beware of people who'll try and convince you to give up on your character or integrity, saying that nobody's perfect, and taunting you for being such an idealist. The fact that nobody's perfect doesn't mean violating what you believe is right. It's good to learn from our mistakes, but we don't always need to make mistakes in order to learn. Remember that striving to be perfect and being perfect are two different ideas; one is the pursuit of integrity, and the latter is an exercise in futility.
Your character is unique. It may not match with anybody else. So do not try for it. Build it on the basis of your own aptitude and inner light within you. Self assessment, self evaluation, introspection etc work well, but never get disheartened by petty failures and criticism revolving around failures. Stand firm on your convictions. You are bound to succeed.
Source:
How to Be Sincere
How to Be Sincere
Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart. — Basil Rathbone.
Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment. — Anthony Robbins
Sincerity of feeling, intent and presentation touches the hearts of everyone. But what exactly defines sincerity? And how do you achieve it? No other formula exists for sincerity than to be sincere by being genuine, having faith and trust in yourself, and just being rather than trying to project something that you are not.
edit Steps
1. 1
Act the same way alone as you do when in the presence of others. This is the real you and this is the person that people will warm to and trust. If you try too hard to be what you think other people want to see in you, the result will not be sincere and you will spend a lot of time projecting a persona that is not a real part of yourself. That is not only hard work but is ultimately insincere.
2. 2
Do things out of the goodness of your heart; don't seek a reward or do things to acquire things from people. When you give without expecting the boomerang effect to occur, the giving becomes an act of sincerity and an expression of your genuine concern for and interest in others. A heart that is worn on the sleeve is evident to others, and people who do this will engender a sense of rapport with others.
3. 3
Understand that sincerity comes from the heart. Whatever you do or say, it is vital to mean to do or say it and to back it up with your beliefs. You cannot be sincere if you say you like chocolate when you hate it. You cannot be sincere when you compliment someone but deep inside you detest him or her. You cannot be sincere when you apologize just for the sake of disarming the person that you offended, with the motive of future revenge, but you can be sincere if you are truthful to yourself.
4. 4
Don't do it or say it, unless you believe it from your heart. If you are placed in a situation that requires you to offer compliments or to express your opinions and tastes but you feel hampered by "white lies", there is an easy solution to this. Only choose the truths. For example, if you are called upon to give a speech about a person who is someone you would rather not be anywhere near ordinarily, choose things about that person that are good. List at least three things which you know to be good about that person and develop your speech around the good points. This will help you to speak genuinely and from the heart.
5. 5
Realize that sincerity can expose you. Opening up to others about your feelings, motives and aspirations can cause some people to react in insincere ways and to try and drag you down. If you are forearmed to expect this possibility, then it will come as less of a shock. Remain calm and non-confrontational when faced with such responses. There are reasons such as insecurity and anger that lie behind the inability of some people to cope with sincerity and to abuse you for it.
6. 6
Use positive affirmations. Always seek the good in you, in others, in situations. Try to place yourself in the other person's shoes to see where they are coming from. When negative connotations arise, use your positive affirmations to override the negatives and to try to find the silver lining in any situation. Sincerity thrives on effort to think the right way.
7. 7
Don't over-polish things. Sincerity is about immediacy, spontaneity, spur-of-the moment responses that well up from your genuine self. Polishing responses (whether by e-mail, speech, letter or otherwise) often removes the sincerity and replaces it with overlays of caution, attempted perfectionism and maybe even sugar-coating. The difference is detectable by the recipient and can mean the difference between you getting that deadline shifted, getting that job, getting that understanding you so very much need... or not.
8. 8
Be hospitable and lack material neediness. Sincerity is advanced when you are open to having others in your life and when you do not feel a need to compare yourself with what others have and what you do not. Material neediness destroys the ability to be sincere because your focus is always on protecting your possessions and aiming to accumulate more instead of looking outwards into the human community around you and perceiving the ways in which you can add substance to it through the goodness of your heart. Learn to let go of this neediness and learn to open your heart to people and your community. In that way, sincerity will become second nature.
edit Tips
Smile — It takes a lot fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and a smile speaks volumes to others about your genuine intent and feelings.
Ask yourself if your actions are being done to get noticed or if they're done from the heart.
Ask yourself how many times you say something or do something and end up feeling a sense of dissonance.
Don't worry if you have been inconsistent. Sincerity takes time to nurture.
Try volunteering and contributing to the community in the most giving way possible.
edit Warnings
Beware of pretending to be sincere; false sincerity is easily detected.
Source:
Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart. — Basil Rathbone.
Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment. — Anthony Robbins
Sincerity of feeling, intent and presentation touches the hearts of everyone. But what exactly defines sincerity? And how do you achieve it? No other formula exists for sincerity than to be sincere by being genuine, having faith and trust in yourself, and just being rather than trying to project something that you are not.
edit Steps
1. 1
Act the same way alone as you do when in the presence of others. This is the real you and this is the person that people will warm to and trust. If you try too hard to be what you think other people want to see in you, the result will not be sincere and you will spend a lot of time projecting a persona that is not a real part of yourself. That is not only hard work but is ultimately insincere.
2. 2
Do things out of the goodness of your heart; don't seek a reward or do things to acquire things from people. When you give without expecting the boomerang effect to occur, the giving becomes an act of sincerity and an expression of your genuine concern for and interest in others. A heart that is worn on the sleeve is evident to others, and people who do this will engender a sense of rapport with others.
3. 3
Understand that sincerity comes from the heart. Whatever you do or say, it is vital to mean to do or say it and to back it up with your beliefs. You cannot be sincere if you say you like chocolate when you hate it. You cannot be sincere when you compliment someone but deep inside you detest him or her. You cannot be sincere when you apologize just for the sake of disarming the person that you offended, with the motive of future revenge, but you can be sincere if you are truthful to yourself.
4. 4
Don't do it or say it, unless you believe it from your heart. If you are placed in a situation that requires you to offer compliments or to express your opinions and tastes but you feel hampered by "white lies", there is an easy solution to this. Only choose the truths. For example, if you are called upon to give a speech about a person who is someone you would rather not be anywhere near ordinarily, choose things about that person that are good. List at least three things which you know to be good about that person and develop your speech around the good points. This will help you to speak genuinely and from the heart.
5. 5
Realize that sincerity can expose you. Opening up to others about your feelings, motives and aspirations can cause some people to react in insincere ways and to try and drag you down. If you are forearmed to expect this possibility, then it will come as less of a shock. Remain calm and non-confrontational when faced with such responses. There are reasons such as insecurity and anger that lie behind the inability of some people to cope with sincerity and to abuse you for it.
6. 6
Use positive affirmations. Always seek the good in you, in others, in situations. Try to place yourself in the other person's shoes to see where they are coming from. When negative connotations arise, use your positive affirmations to override the negatives and to try to find the silver lining in any situation. Sincerity thrives on effort to think the right way.
7. 7
Don't over-polish things. Sincerity is about immediacy, spontaneity, spur-of-the moment responses that well up from your genuine self. Polishing responses (whether by e-mail, speech, letter or otherwise) often removes the sincerity and replaces it with overlays of caution, attempted perfectionism and maybe even sugar-coating. The difference is detectable by the recipient and can mean the difference between you getting that deadline shifted, getting that job, getting that understanding you so very much need... or not.
8. 8
Be hospitable and lack material neediness. Sincerity is advanced when you are open to having others in your life and when you do not feel a need to compare yourself with what others have and what you do not. Material neediness destroys the ability to be sincere because your focus is always on protecting your possessions and aiming to accumulate more instead of looking outwards into the human community around you and perceiving the ways in which you can add substance to it through the goodness of your heart. Learn to let go of this neediness and learn to open your heart to people and your community. In that way, sincerity will become second nature.
edit Tips
Smile — It takes a lot fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and a smile speaks volumes to others about your genuine intent and feelings.
Ask yourself if your actions are being done to get noticed or if they're done from the heart.
Ask yourself how many times you say something or do something and end up feeling a sense of dissonance.
Don't worry if you have been inconsistent. Sincerity takes time to nurture.
Try volunteering and contributing to the community in the most giving way possible.
edit Warnings
Beware of pretending to be sincere; false sincerity is easily detected.
Source:
How to Be Punctual
How to Be Punctual
Pay attention to the time.
If you're battling chronic lateness, there is hope. According to the experts, you can avoid procrastination and tardiness by changing your habits and tweaking your routines. Here are some things you can do to turn lateness into punctuality.
edit Steps
1. 1
Acknowledge that you are a person who is having a hard time being punctual. As with any problem, you cannot fix it if you're in denial that it's a problem at all. But if your chronic tardiness is beginning to strain your job and/or your relationships, the first thing you need to do is acknowledge this as a weakness so you can begin to work toward correcting it. Although if it is a rational problem,like traffic or small children, there is no need to feel bad - just keep working on it!
2. 2
Be conscious of the time.
o Keep your watch accurate. For some people, moving up the time on their watch will help them be earlier. For others, they will subconsciously know that the time is wrong and so they just disregard it altogether. It may be helpful to set your watch just two minutes ahead instead of five or ten. This will make you less likely to "factor in" those extra few minutes.
o Keep a clock, phone, computer or anything that displays time in each room of your house. One of the easiest ways to run late is simply by not realizing that the time is going by as quickly as it is.
o Set all your clocks and watches to the same time.
o Don't be an optimist. Things usually take significantly longer than you'd expect, even without major delays. If you have a dinner date at 6:30 PM, don't think you can work in your yard until 6:00, then shower, change, and drive across town and make it on time. Realistically assess the time you will take on each step and then add 10 minutes more to allow for unexpected delays,or you can get to the restaurant first and get a good seat, or if your date's early too, you can spend more time with each other! If you are a poor judge of time, use a stop watch or digital watch to time how long it takes you to do routine tasks to improve your accuracy. However, you still need to give yourself a cushion for unexpected delays.
3. 3
Wake up when you're supposed to wake up. Don't hit the snooze button, linger in bed, and watch TV at the very start of your day.Maybe even try setting your clock 10 minutes earlier than you need to. If you have difficulty with this, move your alarm clock to somewhere out of reach from your bed; that way, you have to get up to turn it off. Acquire the habit of sitting up, stretching, and getting out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off. If you can't get out of bed on time, you may be going to bed too late. Try sleeping earlier to allow yourself at least 7 hours sleep. By getting up late you are setting a pattern of lateness for the rest of the day. For more tips on how to do this, see the Related wikiHows section below.
4. 4
Commit yourself to being 15 minutes early for everything. If you have to be to work at 8:00, don't even tell yourself this. Just tell yourself (and everyone else who listens- but don't annoy them or make them think that they are late or early!) "I have to be at work at 7:45." If you do this, you will be on time even with little unforeseen interruptions. You will be on time even with a traffic jam. And on those rare times that you actually show up 15 minutes early; you will get kudos for being an enthusiastic employee.You can also chat with others who are early,and that will make you happy before work!
5. 5
Bring something you can read in short segments almost everywhere you go. This makes it easy to be early, since in the 10-15 minutes you have before an appointment/event, you can get a few pages of reading done. This makes it feel like you're getting something done (and you are) while you are waiting, if you do have to wait. You can get a ton of reading done this way, too.
6. 6
Re-examine how long your daily tasks really take. For example, you might be under the impression that you take a 15 minute shower, assuming that starting at 6:30 you can leave at 6:45. But, what about the time you spend before and after the actual shower? It's quite possible you really spend 20 or even 30 minutes in the bathroom, and that's why you can never leave by 6:45. So, think about the things you do every day, and try and keep an estimate of how long it takes you.Just saying to yourself"Right about 15 mins for that" can fix your lateness and takes about 5 seconds.
7. 7
Watch yourself for a few days to see where you often waste the most time. These "time sinkholes" (such as getting distracted while checking emails) are often unnoticed by us and can throw off your daily planning. Try to change your habits around these activities. For example, standing up while quickly checking your emails makes it hard to lose an hour randomly surfing the web.
8. 8
Make a note of where you should be in regards to time. For instance, if you have to leave your house at 8 for work, tell yourself, "It's 7:20, I should be getting in the shower." "It's 7:35, I should be brushing my teeth." This will help keep you on track. It is useful to think up a morning schedule to get used to this habit.
9. 9
Keep organized. Disorganization is directly related to lateness. How often have you been late because you were looking for your car keys or couldn't find an important document? Keep the things that you use everyday in some resemblance of organization and your routines will go smoother.
10. 10
Plan ahead.
o Schedule something unimportant right before something very important. If you have an essential interview at 4:00, plan to meet a friend for coffee at the coffee shop next to your interview at 3:30. Then, even if you are late to meet your friend, you will be poised to pounce on your meeting.But remember to tell your friend that you may miss your coffee(they might feel that you are ditching them.)
o Pick out your clothes the night before (don't forget your underclothes and shoes!). If you need to bring something with you, set it with your car keys or purse.
o If you are going to some unfamiliar place, look over a map, or even drive there once if at all possible. Have your transportation planned; if you drive, keep your car in good order and refill gas in the tank. If you ride a bus, know the route, have your fare, and keep cab money on hand in case of emergency. If you are depending on another person for a ride—have a plan B!
11. 11
Go to sleep on time. This makes it a lot easier to get up on time and helps you stay on task during the day. Unless you know otherwise, assume you need eight hours of sleep every night. By far the majority of people need at least this much sleep. College students and younger need more. Most people underestimate their sleep needs.
12. 12
Check the traffic before you leave. Even better punctuality technology is now available to alert you it time to leave, aware of traffic incidents, congestion or road works on your route. Check out Prompt, the punctuality app available for BlackBerry devices.
edit Tips
Kids are really good at making their parents late. Follow all the above tips, not just for yourself but also for your kids. Have their clothes ready, make sure they get baths the night before, etc. If your child is very young, make sure their diaper bag is always fully stocked.But some organized twelve year olds can definitely help you out!
Being habitually punctual tends to have the effect of actually allowing you to be late from time to time. For instance, Sally is often late. Bob is always on time. They both get stuck in traffic, it is the fault of neither of them, but they end up a few minutes late to work. Most bosses aren't even going to blink at Bob. They view him as a responsible person who has had a rough morning. Sally, on the other hand, is going to get yelled at. Her boss will see her tardiness as evidence of a larger pattern, even if it isn't really her fault this time. Also say if you are picking up your child and are always on time, if you are late your child may worry.
Quick thing to remember. "If you are 5 minutes early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. If you're late, then you've got a lot of explaining to do."
Old military adage: If you're not 5 minutes early, you're 10 minutes late!
Don't lose hope. Even George V of England had a hard time being punctual.
edit Warnings
Remember your reputation is on the line. The power of showing up is limitless.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking nobody notices the latecomer. If you think you are more than occasionally late to work, school, church, appointments, etc., you can be sure others have noticed too.
Lateness is corrosive to good relations with friends, work colleagues and of professional standing. Having a strong personality and being able to smooth over individual instances of lateness still leaves a building resentment. Holding people up who have planned and prepared work, journeys, meals, entertainment etc. generates a cumulative irritation and devaluing of you personally.
Source:
Pay attention to the time.
If you're battling chronic lateness, there is hope. According to the experts, you can avoid procrastination and tardiness by changing your habits and tweaking your routines. Here are some things you can do to turn lateness into punctuality.
edit Steps
1. 1
Acknowledge that you are a person who is having a hard time being punctual. As with any problem, you cannot fix it if you're in denial that it's a problem at all. But if your chronic tardiness is beginning to strain your job and/or your relationships, the first thing you need to do is acknowledge this as a weakness so you can begin to work toward correcting it. Although if it is a rational problem,like traffic or small children, there is no need to feel bad - just keep working on it!
2. 2
Be conscious of the time.
o Keep your watch accurate. For some people, moving up the time on their watch will help them be earlier. For others, they will subconsciously know that the time is wrong and so they just disregard it altogether. It may be helpful to set your watch just two minutes ahead instead of five or ten. This will make you less likely to "factor in" those extra few minutes.
o Keep a clock, phone, computer or anything that displays time in each room of your house. One of the easiest ways to run late is simply by not realizing that the time is going by as quickly as it is.
o Set all your clocks and watches to the same time.
o Don't be an optimist. Things usually take significantly longer than you'd expect, even without major delays. If you have a dinner date at 6:30 PM, don't think you can work in your yard until 6:00, then shower, change, and drive across town and make it on time. Realistically assess the time you will take on each step and then add 10 minutes more to allow for unexpected delays,or you can get to the restaurant first and get a good seat, or if your date's early too, you can spend more time with each other! If you are a poor judge of time, use a stop watch or digital watch to time how long it takes you to do routine tasks to improve your accuracy. However, you still need to give yourself a cushion for unexpected delays.
3. 3
Wake up when you're supposed to wake up. Don't hit the snooze button, linger in bed, and watch TV at the very start of your day.Maybe even try setting your clock 10 minutes earlier than you need to. If you have difficulty with this, move your alarm clock to somewhere out of reach from your bed; that way, you have to get up to turn it off. Acquire the habit of sitting up, stretching, and getting out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off. If you can't get out of bed on time, you may be going to bed too late. Try sleeping earlier to allow yourself at least 7 hours sleep. By getting up late you are setting a pattern of lateness for the rest of the day. For more tips on how to do this, see the Related wikiHows section below.
4. 4
Commit yourself to being 15 minutes early for everything. If you have to be to work at 8:00, don't even tell yourself this. Just tell yourself (and everyone else who listens- but don't annoy them or make them think that they are late or early!) "I have to be at work at 7:45." If you do this, you will be on time even with little unforeseen interruptions. You will be on time even with a traffic jam. And on those rare times that you actually show up 15 minutes early; you will get kudos for being an enthusiastic employee.You can also chat with others who are early,and that will make you happy before work!
5. 5
Bring something you can read in short segments almost everywhere you go. This makes it easy to be early, since in the 10-15 minutes you have before an appointment/event, you can get a few pages of reading done. This makes it feel like you're getting something done (and you are) while you are waiting, if you do have to wait. You can get a ton of reading done this way, too.
6. 6
Re-examine how long your daily tasks really take. For example, you might be under the impression that you take a 15 minute shower, assuming that starting at 6:30 you can leave at 6:45. But, what about the time you spend before and after the actual shower? It's quite possible you really spend 20 or even 30 minutes in the bathroom, and that's why you can never leave by 6:45. So, think about the things you do every day, and try and keep an estimate of how long it takes you.Just saying to yourself"Right about 15 mins for that" can fix your lateness and takes about 5 seconds.
7. 7
Watch yourself for a few days to see where you often waste the most time. These "time sinkholes" (such as getting distracted while checking emails) are often unnoticed by us and can throw off your daily planning. Try to change your habits around these activities. For example, standing up while quickly checking your emails makes it hard to lose an hour randomly surfing the web.
8. 8
Make a note of where you should be in regards to time. For instance, if you have to leave your house at 8 for work, tell yourself, "It's 7:20, I should be getting in the shower." "It's 7:35, I should be brushing my teeth." This will help keep you on track. It is useful to think up a morning schedule to get used to this habit.
9. 9
Keep organized. Disorganization is directly related to lateness. How often have you been late because you were looking for your car keys or couldn't find an important document? Keep the things that you use everyday in some resemblance of organization and your routines will go smoother.
10. 10
Plan ahead.
o Schedule something unimportant right before something very important. If you have an essential interview at 4:00, plan to meet a friend for coffee at the coffee shop next to your interview at 3:30. Then, even if you are late to meet your friend, you will be poised to pounce on your meeting.But remember to tell your friend that you may miss your coffee(they might feel that you are ditching them.)
o Pick out your clothes the night before (don't forget your underclothes and shoes!). If you need to bring something with you, set it with your car keys or purse.
o If you are going to some unfamiliar place, look over a map, or even drive there once if at all possible. Have your transportation planned; if you drive, keep your car in good order and refill gas in the tank. If you ride a bus, know the route, have your fare, and keep cab money on hand in case of emergency. If you are depending on another person for a ride—have a plan B!
11. 11
Go to sleep on time. This makes it a lot easier to get up on time and helps you stay on task during the day. Unless you know otherwise, assume you need eight hours of sleep every night. By far the majority of people need at least this much sleep. College students and younger need more. Most people underestimate their sleep needs.
12. 12
Check the traffic before you leave. Even better punctuality technology is now available to alert you it time to leave, aware of traffic incidents, congestion or road works on your route. Check out Prompt, the punctuality app available for BlackBerry devices.
edit Tips
Kids are really good at making their parents late. Follow all the above tips, not just for yourself but also for your kids. Have their clothes ready, make sure they get baths the night before, etc. If your child is very young, make sure their diaper bag is always fully stocked.But some organized twelve year olds can definitely help you out!
Being habitually punctual tends to have the effect of actually allowing you to be late from time to time. For instance, Sally is often late. Bob is always on time. They both get stuck in traffic, it is the fault of neither of them, but they end up a few minutes late to work. Most bosses aren't even going to blink at Bob. They view him as a responsible person who has had a rough morning. Sally, on the other hand, is going to get yelled at. Her boss will see her tardiness as evidence of a larger pattern, even if it isn't really her fault this time. Also say if you are picking up your child and are always on time, if you are late your child may worry.
Quick thing to remember. "If you are 5 minutes early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. If you're late, then you've got a lot of explaining to do."
Old military adage: If you're not 5 minutes early, you're 10 minutes late!
Don't lose hope. Even George V of England had a hard time being punctual.
edit Warnings
Remember your reputation is on the line. The power of showing up is limitless.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking nobody notices the latecomer. If you think you are more than occasionally late to work, school, church, appointments, etc., you can be sure others have noticed too.
Lateness is corrosive to good relations with friends, work colleagues and of professional standing. Having a strong personality and being able to smooth over individual instances of lateness still leaves a building resentment. Holding people up who have planned and prepared work, journeys, meals, entertainment etc. generates a cumulative irritation and devaluing of you personally.
Source:
How to Be Positive
How to Be Positive
Thought is creative. All thought, good and bad, is creative and tends to lead to a material thing. That is why we must learn to be more positive. The environment and all the experiences in life are the result of habitual and predominant thoughts.
Negative thoughts can tell us about something that needs attention. So, thoughts leads to discovering what needs to be done and one can think positive or negative to take care of it. Many people fail to see a negative occurrence as a learning experience and continue to feel victimized and helpless, ultimately blaming others for what they drew to themselves.
You are not alone. You are not hopeless. You are alive, and you are your own person.
edit Steps
1. 1
Admit that there are problems. You can't change them if you don't admit faults. Accept the facts, if you have been negative or inactive. This will make it easier for you to become positive!
2. 2
Make goals. Goals give you a more positive outlook on life. Those who are bored with life and feel stuck are usually feeling depressed by those areas where there is no goal and so -- no progress.
3. 3
Appreciate your friends! Appreciate the people in your life who have stood by you through thick and thin. Enlist their support to help you become more positive, and in the process you will probably help them too. Friends help each other through the good times and bad. Feel positive about them and feel lucky to have good friends in your life.
4. 4
Realize that it is really all in our mind! What goes on in your mind can really determine your actions and decides whether you're positive or negative. If you always think negative thoughts, you're always going to turn out to be a negative person. It is better to think about positive thoughts.
5. 5
Avoid negative influences. Even if it's a family member or close friend, do not tolerate their bad behavior. Steer clear from it so that it will not rub off on you.
6. 6
Find an optimistic quote or saying and keep it in your wallet or pocket at all times for a quick reference.
7. 7
Focus your imagination and efforts on becoming that new positive person. It is much easier to effect change if you just put your mind to it and change your thoughts. We can't always control things that happen in your life, but we can, with some effort, control what we think in our minds.
8. 8
Create your life from within. If you want more success, focus on all the ways that you are already successful. If you want more love, focus on all the people that already care about you and the abundance of love you have to give to others. If you want to create greater health, focus on all the ways that you are healthy, and so on and so forth.
9. 9
Imagine that you're already a positive person and you love your life. The only thing between you and your desire to be happy is one single fact: You are not happy because of how you think. This little known fact keeps many from reaching their goal of happiness. If you keep thinking things like "My life sucks!" than your life will seem like it really is that bad.
10. 10
Smile at strangers. Although this may seem a little weird, it actually makes you feel more positive and happy. You may even brighten that other person's day with just a smile.
11. 11
Listen to positive music. It's a great way to remain positive.
12. 12
Volunteer or help others. Helping others leads to a happier outlook on your own life. You'll feel great at the end and make you feel like a good person.
13. 13
Replace negative thoughts with something positive. Look for the benefit in every situation. There are pros and cons to most situations and you get to choose which you will focus on. If you're thinking something that isn't pleasant, think the opposite. If you do this long enough, it will make a huge difference. Say "I can!" more than "I can't!".
14. 14
Use the Law of Attraction Your activity and thoughts are positive or negative like magnets. As you avoid dealing with a problem, then it continues as is -- or gets worse -- your own negativity may rule the day. But, the more you think positively, then the more proactively you will act and reach goals of ways to overcome and accept your positive options -- and that will bring its reward.
How to Be Happy
Lack of Self Confidence?
Would you like to feel more sure of yourself? Free Ebook - Ron Hubbard
Positive Thoughts
Daily positive messages for smart people.
edit Tips
Progress lies just after your thoughts focus your efforts: making progress is success. Know that this understanding is what inspires you to accomplish what you really desire in life. And if you are positively engaging events within yourself -- in your thoughts -- then there is no goal in which you can not make progress. Your engaged goals are powerful!
Positive Thoughts
Daily positive messages for smart people.
Think about what you want (that's a goal), not about what you don't want (that's worry). Goal driven activity requires positive thinking.
Be sure to cultivate positive thinking for the purposeful reasons - to enhance the quality of your life and the lives of others.
Find some things positive to say to yourself and repeat them often. Use statements such as "I am a very positive person."; "I am very capable."; "I can do anything when I put my mind to work on it."; "I can do it."...
Think of the cup as half full and filling up; not half empty!
Print these instructions and keep them with you for reference.
Don't give up! Good habits can replace bad ones by continuous perseverance.
Hang around positive people and you will become and be like them. Hang around negativity and you'll become negative!
edit Warnings
Beware of those who do not want to be positive. Look forward toward the positive people and don't blame your past; accept it and forgive it. Don't look back.
There will always be someone who poo-poos your positive outlook. Don't let that attitude bother you. You simply look beyond these people and let them wallow in their past and unhappiness. They will not change until they are ready.
Source:
Thought is creative. All thought, good and bad, is creative and tends to lead to a material thing. That is why we must learn to be more positive. The environment and all the experiences in life are the result of habitual and predominant thoughts.
Negative thoughts can tell us about something that needs attention. So, thoughts leads to discovering what needs to be done and one can think positive or negative to take care of it. Many people fail to see a negative occurrence as a learning experience and continue to feel victimized and helpless, ultimately blaming others for what they drew to themselves.
You are not alone. You are not hopeless. You are alive, and you are your own person.
edit Steps
1. 1
Admit that there are problems. You can't change them if you don't admit faults. Accept the facts, if you have been negative or inactive. This will make it easier for you to become positive!
2. 2
Make goals. Goals give you a more positive outlook on life. Those who are bored with life and feel stuck are usually feeling depressed by those areas where there is no goal and so -- no progress.
3. 3
Appreciate your friends! Appreciate the people in your life who have stood by you through thick and thin. Enlist their support to help you become more positive, and in the process you will probably help them too. Friends help each other through the good times and bad. Feel positive about them and feel lucky to have good friends in your life.
4. 4
Realize that it is really all in our mind! What goes on in your mind can really determine your actions and decides whether you're positive or negative. If you always think negative thoughts, you're always going to turn out to be a negative person. It is better to think about positive thoughts.
5. 5
Avoid negative influences. Even if it's a family member or close friend, do not tolerate their bad behavior. Steer clear from it so that it will not rub off on you.
6. 6
Find an optimistic quote or saying and keep it in your wallet or pocket at all times for a quick reference.
7. 7
Focus your imagination and efforts on becoming that new positive person. It is much easier to effect change if you just put your mind to it and change your thoughts. We can't always control things that happen in your life, but we can, with some effort, control what we think in our minds.
8. 8
Create your life from within. If you want more success, focus on all the ways that you are already successful. If you want more love, focus on all the people that already care about you and the abundance of love you have to give to others. If you want to create greater health, focus on all the ways that you are healthy, and so on and so forth.
9. 9
Imagine that you're already a positive person and you love your life. The only thing between you and your desire to be happy is one single fact: You are not happy because of how you think. This little known fact keeps many from reaching their goal of happiness. If you keep thinking things like "My life sucks!" than your life will seem like it really is that bad.
10. 10
Smile at strangers. Although this may seem a little weird, it actually makes you feel more positive and happy. You may even brighten that other person's day with just a smile.
11. 11
Listen to positive music. It's a great way to remain positive.
12. 12
Volunteer or help others. Helping others leads to a happier outlook on your own life. You'll feel great at the end and make you feel like a good person.
13. 13
Replace negative thoughts with something positive. Look for the benefit in every situation. There are pros and cons to most situations and you get to choose which you will focus on. If you're thinking something that isn't pleasant, think the opposite. If you do this long enough, it will make a huge difference. Say "I can!" more than "I can't!".
14. 14
Use the Law of Attraction Your activity and thoughts are positive or negative like magnets. As you avoid dealing with a problem, then it continues as is -- or gets worse -- your own negativity may rule the day. But, the more you think positively, then the more proactively you will act and reach goals of ways to overcome and accept your positive options -- and that will bring its reward.
How to Be Happy
Lack of Self Confidence?
Would you like to feel more sure of yourself? Free Ebook - Ron Hubbard
Positive Thoughts
Daily positive messages for smart people.
edit Tips
Progress lies just after your thoughts focus your efforts: making progress is success. Know that this understanding is what inspires you to accomplish what you really desire in life. And if you are positively engaging events within yourself -- in your thoughts -- then there is no goal in which you can not make progress. Your engaged goals are powerful!
Positive Thoughts
Daily positive messages for smart people.
Think about what you want (that's a goal), not about what you don't want (that's worry). Goal driven activity requires positive thinking.
Be sure to cultivate positive thinking for the purposeful reasons - to enhance the quality of your life and the lives of others.
Find some things positive to say to yourself and repeat them often. Use statements such as "I am a very positive person."; "I am very capable."; "I can do anything when I put my mind to work on it."; "I can do it."...
Think of the cup as half full and filling up; not half empty!
Print these instructions and keep them with you for reference.
Don't give up! Good habits can replace bad ones by continuous perseverance.
Hang around positive people and you will become and be like them. Hang around negativity and you'll become negative!
edit Warnings
Beware of those who do not want to be positive. Look forward toward the positive people and don't blame your past; accept it and forgive it. Don't look back.
There will always be someone who poo-poos your positive outlook. Don't let that attitude bother you. You simply look beyond these people and let them wallow in their past and unhappiness. They will not change until they are ready.
Source:
How to Be Organized
How to Be Organized
Take the time to organize your life.
If disorganization is congesting your life, and you're feeling scattered and frustrated as a result, it's time to get organized. To achieve organization on the inside, you will need to take steps to become organized on the outside, by clarifying your priorities, objectives, and how you want your belongings and your lifestyle arranged. Try to keep stuff where it belongs.
Steps
1. 1
Organize your space. Whether it's your home, bedroom, kitchen, office, computer, closet, desk, or locker, you need to see what's in there, throw away anything you don't often use (or put it efficiently in storage) and give everything else a convenient and clearly designated space.
o Clean out your belongings before you think about organizing (organizational tools, furniture, etc.). Don't do it the other way around. You can only really accurately know what space you have when you've cleaned up. If you don't really take a hard look at what you're stuffing in your spaces, you'll waste time and money organizing stuff you don't need anyway.
o Observe how you use your things and work out how to use your space efficiently. If it's inconvenient to get to things (or to put them away), your organization system is more likely to fail. Make it easy to get to and put away the things you need most often. In that vein, put things where you use them most. Pots get stored near the stove, envelopes and stamps are stored in the desk, stain remover and bleach goes in the laundry room or linen closet. (It sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people just put things "wherever" and then are surprised when doing anything is tremendously inconvenient.)
o Do you have items in your house that just take up space? Be sure to de-clutter regularly. Good questions to ask yourself in deciding: Do I need this? Will I need this in a year? Have I used this in the last year? Do I really love it? Is there someone else who could use this more? Do I have more than I could reasonably use in foreseeable future? Will I miss this if I don't have it?
o Know what "organized" looks and feels like. Organized spaces are simple to use. They have enough room for the items there. It makes sense. Every item in your home has a location. Organized spaces also feel calm, open, and welcoming.
o Use timers. Set a timer for how long you think a cleaning organizing task should take then work like crazy to get it done in the allotted time.
o Have a spot for all bills. Open all mail immediately and dispose of the outer envelope with the junk mail. Keep only the bill in a prominent location.
o
2. 2
Put it back. Right now. Once you establish where everything belongs, you need to get in the habit of putting it back there as soon as you're finished using it. Don't put it on the kitchen table or on the couch and move onto something else, thinking to yourself that you'll put it away later. That's a big no-no.
o Always put your keys in the same place.
o Always put your cell phone in the same place. Have a cell phone charging station set up.
3. 3
Use a calendar. Get a calendar and put it in a place where you see it every day, preferably in the morning. For most people, that's on the refrigerator, on their desk, or on their desktop. Wherever you put it, make it part of your routine to refer to it every day. For example, you can put it on the inside of the bathroom cabinet where you get your toothpaste. Every morning, while you're brushing your teeth with one hand, touch today's date on the calendar with the other, and look to see what's marked for today and for the upcoming week.
o Keep your calendar close at hand when sorting papers. Often, you can file or even toss the announcement for an event if it is recorded in your calendar. Your calendar can remind you to do things on time. There's no need to rely on that stack of paper.
Use a planner. A planner is especially useful if you have a lot of appointments and your days are so varied that you have trouble keeping track of your schedule. For example, if you travel a lot or attend classes at various times of day, it's much easier to carry a planner with you to consult frequently--you can't do that with a calendar. You can also usually fit more information in a planner.
4. 5
Combine similar activities. Make all your phone calls at one time. Do all your errands at the same time. Pay all your bills at the same time. Do all shopping in one trip.
5. 6
Write it down! A short pencil is better than a long memory. Anything and everything you need to remember should be written down. Even if your memory is great, nobody's perfect and it doesn't hurt to put it on paper, just in case. Record phone numbers, appointments, birthdays, shopping lists, and things to do, and record them where you can easily find and refer to them when you need them.
6. 7
Make to do lists.
o Make a to do list for your day. Your daily or immediate list should never be more than 5 items long, or else you're taking on too much and setting yourself up for failure. Mark one or two of those items as things you absolutely must get done that day, and pursue those tasks relentlessly until you get them done.
o Make a to do list for the week. Appropriate items here would be: Grocery shopping, fix air conditioner, etc. Draw from this list to make your daily to-do list. A white board or board with erasable markers can help to remember all one has to do every day, or long term goals.
o Make a to do list for the month. This list would have more general tasks like: Birthday gift to Jill, get car serviced, dentist appointment. Draw from this list to make your daily and weekly to-do list.
o Make a to do list for your life. Drastic, yes, but why not use this time to rethink your life and where it's going? Getting organized is all about priorities, and it never hurts to get your ducks in a row.
7. 8
Taking the time to organize receipts for things going back, whether to the store or to the library, can really help. It creates order and structure, and will also help avoid not being able to return things to stores and fines.
8. 9
Delegate responsibilities. Make sure the person you appoint to do the task has all the tools necessary to do the task. It's hard to be organized if you insist on doing everything yourself.
9. 10
Multitask. Organize a drawer while talking on the phone. Fold towels while watching television. Do take care to combine only compatible tasks, though, or you'll just waste time compared to doing things in sequence.
o Just keep in mind that some studies have shown that multitasking may diminish one's ability to focus on one thing at a time.
10. 11
Follow through. There's no point in making a to-do list if you don't discipline yourself to complete the tasks you've assigned yourself. There are many ways to stick to your to-do list. Stop procrastinating, remove or ignore distractions, and hop to it.
o If something keeps slipping to the bottom of your to-do list, take a good look at it. Is it really important? If so, get it over with, or at least get it started. If not, put it back in the long-term list for "someday" or get it off the list altogether. Don't let yourself get hung up on something for too long.
11. 12
Ziplock bags are your friends. Store away items in plastic zip lock bags. This way, the items will be compact, clean, and dust-free. But they will also be all over the place if you dont have a storage system! Place the bags in closets, desk drawers, cabinets, and other places. Zip lock bags are convenient, useful, and cheap, so use them!
o Try drawer organizers for drawers that are enclosed. You can purchase a wide selection or make your own by slicing off the tops of empty plastic bottles of various sizes. Milk jugs are handy because they are fairly square, but any bottle or jar will do if you can trim it so it fits in the drawer.
12. 13
Make Decisions To be more organized, make more decisions. Clutter and disorganization is often the result of failing to decide what to do about, or with, something. Start flexing your decision muscles with little things, and you'll soon find yourself more confident about taking action on the stuff around your home, on your desk and in your office. Try it today!
13. 14
Setting a time frame in which each task has to be done through out the day is another good way to keep one from procrastination, and keeping to their agenda. Having a time frame is very effective way to organize day because knowing that one has designated a time slot for each item on the list lets one know that there is no need to rush to finish things. Just take the time that you have granted yourself and do the job well. Don’t rush to finish it. If one were to rush to finish a task, it might not have been done as accurately, but if one had taken the time and done it gradually and more effectively.
Tips
It's a good idea to carry a notepad and pen with you at all times so you can write things down as they come to you (usually at the most inconvenient times, which is why they're so promptly forgotten). If you're worried about fitting a notepad in your pants pocket, don't be. Check bookstores and office supply centers to find a notepad slim enough for any pocket. Of course, if your planner is compact enough, it can serve this purpose as well. Another idea would be to have a PDA, Blackberry or palm Pilot. Some cell phones have notification or note-taking menus. If you are using one of those, they may be practical too. As a last resort, call your own phone number and leave yourself a voice mail.
When running errands, map out the best path so you get the most done and keep chit chat to a minimum. Don’t get sidetracked. Target what you need to do. If something else comes to your mind, write it in your notebook to do at a later date.
Post-it notes are your friend. Put them in nifty spots as reminders. For example, if you know you need to wash your car, then put a post-it note on your steering wheel so that next time you get in your car, you remember to get it done. Other good spots for post-it notes are doorknobs, mirrors, and PC monitors (the borders, not the actual screen).
Start your phone conversations with "I only have ____ minutes to talk." Then stick with it. When calling for appointments, make sure you have all information you will need and write down any questions in advance.
If you know that you're not naturally inclined to be organized, you can change that by starting with one small area of your living space and focusing on keeping that small area organized. Keeping a small area organized over time is easier to do, and it will help you build a new habit. After about 2-3 months of keeping one corner organized, you will naturally tend to expand your new-found organizing instincts to other areas.
"A place for everything and everything in its place" is always a good organizational rule of thumb to live by.
Remember: "Organized minds make successful people."
Make sure you always have what you need for the day with you.
When making your to do list for the week, remember things may occur that could be entirely unexpected. So, do not set in stone what you need to do entirely.
You are able to log the divide in time spent on productive pursuits versus those times you spend on unproductive pursuits with the aid of chess clocks.
Treat yourself right - get plenty of sleep the night before and eat healthy (or healthier). To accomplish anything you need to be able to think clearly and need energy to do it.
There are many possible ways to organize something, all valid. One person might organize a sock drawer by color. Another person might simply fold pairs of socks together and dump them in. Yet another person might buy a whole bale of socks all alike and not sort them at all. Regardless of what you are organizing, choose the system that makes most sense to you.
Keep your surfaces clear. Reducing visual clutter helps reduce mental clutter, overstimulation, and the feeling of overwhelm. Get rid of stuff you don't need - so that you can put things you do need away and out of everyday sight. You'll feel instantly calmer.
edit Warnings
Don't expect to get organized overnight. Unless you're really fast at it, or it's a small area.
Don't expect your family and friends to instantly jump on the organization bandwagon, but do stick with it. In the long run, you will be glad you did.
Don't worry if you're not "perfectly" organized, as long as your area is safe, sanitary, and reasonably efficient for you.
Don't rush everything, but more importantly, take your time to develop a habit of organising behavior.
Source:
Take the time to organize your life.
If disorganization is congesting your life, and you're feeling scattered and frustrated as a result, it's time to get organized. To achieve organization on the inside, you will need to take steps to become organized on the outside, by clarifying your priorities, objectives, and how you want your belongings and your lifestyle arranged. Try to keep stuff where it belongs.
Steps
1. 1
Organize your space. Whether it's your home, bedroom, kitchen, office, computer, closet, desk, or locker, you need to see what's in there, throw away anything you don't often use (or put it efficiently in storage) and give everything else a convenient and clearly designated space.
o Clean out your belongings before you think about organizing (organizational tools, furniture, etc.). Don't do it the other way around. You can only really accurately know what space you have when you've cleaned up. If you don't really take a hard look at what you're stuffing in your spaces, you'll waste time and money organizing stuff you don't need anyway.
o Observe how you use your things and work out how to use your space efficiently. If it's inconvenient to get to things (or to put them away), your organization system is more likely to fail. Make it easy to get to and put away the things you need most often. In that vein, put things where you use them most. Pots get stored near the stove, envelopes and stamps are stored in the desk, stain remover and bleach goes in the laundry room or linen closet. (It sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people just put things "wherever" and then are surprised when doing anything is tremendously inconvenient.)
o Do you have items in your house that just take up space? Be sure to de-clutter regularly. Good questions to ask yourself in deciding: Do I need this? Will I need this in a year? Have I used this in the last year? Do I really love it? Is there someone else who could use this more? Do I have more than I could reasonably use in foreseeable future? Will I miss this if I don't have it?
o Know what "organized" looks and feels like. Organized spaces are simple to use. They have enough room for the items there. It makes sense. Every item in your home has a location. Organized spaces also feel calm, open, and welcoming.
o Use timers. Set a timer for how long you think a cleaning organizing task should take then work like crazy to get it done in the allotted time.
o Have a spot for all bills. Open all mail immediately and dispose of the outer envelope with the junk mail. Keep only the bill in a prominent location.
o
2. 2
Put it back. Right now. Once you establish where everything belongs, you need to get in the habit of putting it back there as soon as you're finished using it. Don't put it on the kitchen table or on the couch and move onto something else, thinking to yourself that you'll put it away later. That's a big no-no.
o Always put your keys in the same place.
o Always put your cell phone in the same place. Have a cell phone charging station set up.
3. 3
Use a calendar. Get a calendar and put it in a place where you see it every day, preferably in the morning. For most people, that's on the refrigerator, on their desk, or on their desktop. Wherever you put it, make it part of your routine to refer to it every day. For example, you can put it on the inside of the bathroom cabinet where you get your toothpaste. Every morning, while you're brushing your teeth with one hand, touch today's date on the calendar with the other, and look to see what's marked for today and for the upcoming week.
o Keep your calendar close at hand when sorting papers. Often, you can file or even toss the announcement for an event if it is recorded in your calendar. Your calendar can remind you to do things on time. There's no need to rely on that stack of paper.
Use a planner. A planner is especially useful if you have a lot of appointments and your days are so varied that you have trouble keeping track of your schedule. For example, if you travel a lot or attend classes at various times of day, it's much easier to carry a planner with you to consult frequently--you can't do that with a calendar. You can also usually fit more information in a planner.
4. 5
Combine similar activities. Make all your phone calls at one time. Do all your errands at the same time. Pay all your bills at the same time. Do all shopping in one trip.
5. 6
Write it down! A short pencil is better than a long memory. Anything and everything you need to remember should be written down. Even if your memory is great, nobody's perfect and it doesn't hurt to put it on paper, just in case. Record phone numbers, appointments, birthdays, shopping lists, and things to do, and record them where you can easily find and refer to them when you need them.
6. 7
Make to do lists.
o Make a to do list for your day. Your daily or immediate list should never be more than 5 items long, or else you're taking on too much and setting yourself up for failure. Mark one or two of those items as things you absolutely must get done that day, and pursue those tasks relentlessly until you get them done.
o Make a to do list for the week. Appropriate items here would be: Grocery shopping, fix air conditioner, etc. Draw from this list to make your daily to-do list. A white board or board with erasable markers can help to remember all one has to do every day, or long term goals.
o Make a to do list for the month. This list would have more general tasks like: Birthday gift to Jill, get car serviced, dentist appointment. Draw from this list to make your daily and weekly to-do list.
o Make a to do list for your life. Drastic, yes, but why not use this time to rethink your life and where it's going? Getting organized is all about priorities, and it never hurts to get your ducks in a row.
7. 8
Taking the time to organize receipts for things going back, whether to the store or to the library, can really help. It creates order and structure, and will also help avoid not being able to return things to stores and fines.
8. 9
Delegate responsibilities. Make sure the person you appoint to do the task has all the tools necessary to do the task. It's hard to be organized if you insist on doing everything yourself.
9. 10
Multitask. Organize a drawer while talking on the phone. Fold towels while watching television. Do take care to combine only compatible tasks, though, or you'll just waste time compared to doing things in sequence.
o Just keep in mind that some studies have shown that multitasking may diminish one's ability to focus on one thing at a time.
10. 11
Follow through. There's no point in making a to-do list if you don't discipline yourself to complete the tasks you've assigned yourself. There are many ways to stick to your to-do list. Stop procrastinating, remove or ignore distractions, and hop to it.
o If something keeps slipping to the bottom of your to-do list, take a good look at it. Is it really important? If so, get it over with, or at least get it started. If not, put it back in the long-term list for "someday" or get it off the list altogether. Don't let yourself get hung up on something for too long.
11. 12
Ziplock bags are your friends. Store away items in plastic zip lock bags. This way, the items will be compact, clean, and dust-free. But they will also be all over the place if you dont have a storage system! Place the bags in closets, desk drawers, cabinets, and other places. Zip lock bags are convenient, useful, and cheap, so use them!
o Try drawer organizers for drawers that are enclosed. You can purchase a wide selection or make your own by slicing off the tops of empty plastic bottles of various sizes. Milk jugs are handy because they are fairly square, but any bottle or jar will do if you can trim it so it fits in the drawer.
12. 13
Make Decisions To be more organized, make more decisions. Clutter and disorganization is often the result of failing to decide what to do about, or with, something. Start flexing your decision muscles with little things, and you'll soon find yourself more confident about taking action on the stuff around your home, on your desk and in your office. Try it today!
13. 14
Setting a time frame in which each task has to be done through out the day is another good way to keep one from procrastination, and keeping to their agenda. Having a time frame is very effective way to organize day because knowing that one has designated a time slot for each item on the list lets one know that there is no need to rush to finish things. Just take the time that you have granted yourself and do the job well. Don’t rush to finish it. If one were to rush to finish a task, it might not have been done as accurately, but if one had taken the time and done it gradually and more effectively.
Tips
It's a good idea to carry a notepad and pen with you at all times so you can write things down as they come to you (usually at the most inconvenient times, which is why they're so promptly forgotten). If you're worried about fitting a notepad in your pants pocket, don't be. Check bookstores and office supply centers to find a notepad slim enough for any pocket. Of course, if your planner is compact enough, it can serve this purpose as well. Another idea would be to have a PDA, Blackberry or palm Pilot. Some cell phones have notification or note-taking menus. If you are using one of those, they may be practical too. As a last resort, call your own phone number and leave yourself a voice mail.
When running errands, map out the best path so you get the most done and keep chit chat to a minimum. Don’t get sidetracked. Target what you need to do. If something else comes to your mind, write it in your notebook to do at a later date.
Post-it notes are your friend. Put them in nifty spots as reminders. For example, if you know you need to wash your car, then put a post-it note on your steering wheel so that next time you get in your car, you remember to get it done. Other good spots for post-it notes are doorknobs, mirrors, and PC monitors (the borders, not the actual screen).
Start your phone conversations with "I only have ____ minutes to talk." Then stick with it. When calling for appointments, make sure you have all information you will need and write down any questions in advance.
If you know that you're not naturally inclined to be organized, you can change that by starting with one small area of your living space and focusing on keeping that small area organized. Keeping a small area organized over time is easier to do, and it will help you build a new habit. After about 2-3 months of keeping one corner organized, you will naturally tend to expand your new-found organizing instincts to other areas.
"A place for everything and everything in its place" is always a good organizational rule of thumb to live by.
Remember: "Organized minds make successful people."
Make sure you always have what you need for the day with you.
When making your to do list for the week, remember things may occur that could be entirely unexpected. So, do not set in stone what you need to do entirely.
You are able to log the divide in time spent on productive pursuits versus those times you spend on unproductive pursuits with the aid of chess clocks.
Treat yourself right - get plenty of sleep the night before and eat healthy (or healthier). To accomplish anything you need to be able to think clearly and need energy to do it.
There are many possible ways to organize something, all valid. One person might organize a sock drawer by color. Another person might simply fold pairs of socks together and dump them in. Yet another person might buy a whole bale of socks all alike and not sort them at all. Regardless of what you are organizing, choose the system that makes most sense to you.
Keep your surfaces clear. Reducing visual clutter helps reduce mental clutter, overstimulation, and the feeling of overwhelm. Get rid of stuff you don't need - so that you can put things you do need away and out of everyday sight. You'll feel instantly calmer.
edit Warnings
Don't expect to get organized overnight. Unless you're really fast at it, or it's a small area.
Don't expect your family and friends to instantly jump on the organization bandwagon, but do stick with it. In the long run, you will be glad you did.
Don't worry if you're not "perfectly" organized, as long as your area is safe, sanitary, and reasonably efficient for you.
Don't rush everything, but more importantly, take your time to develop a habit of organising behavior.
Source:
How to Be Nice
How to Be Nice
You've been told to be nice since you were a child, but what exactly does it mean to not be mean? "Nice" is a vague term to put it. If your parents never gave a definition. Were your parents nice to you? Being nice to people, especially your friends, can pay off big time.
edit Steps
1. 1
Smile. A smile will let people know that you are pleasant and inviting. If you smile at someone, look them in the eye. For the most part, if you smile at someone, they won't do anything but smile back. If they don't, then maybe they are just having a bad day. It is up to you to set the mood of the encounter. Make it happy by being the first to smile. Normally, making faces or moody looks at someone is not nice.
A Secret to Lose My Belly
I used to have a fat belly until I found this 1 weird trick.
2
Say hola. When you're walking past someone, even a stranger, try to acknowledge their presence with simple "hello" or "hi" or even just a wave or a nod in their direction. Adding the smile to this can make it all the more friendly. Other parents always like kids that say hello and how are you.
2. 3
Ask people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how things are going in their lives, without being nosy or intrusive. If they seem resistant to talking, just let them know that you're always around to talk to, and that you want them to be alright.
3. 4
Be a good listener. Listen when other people are talking to you. It isn't nice to just ignore other peoples' opinions and stories. If you find that someone is becoming rude or pushy, acknowledge their opinion, issue a compliment ("Having your own set of values and beliefs is pretty admirable") and excuse yourself politely ("I'm sorry, I've got to go get the groceries so I can meet my husband/wife when they get home.").
4. 5
Be courteous. Always say "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome." You can also address people by sir or ma'am, depending on the occasion. Be patient, observant, and considerate. Treat people with respect. Even if you don't particularly like someone at first, they could end up being a really interesting and kind person. Don't forget "Excuse me" instead of "MOVE!". Remember: People aren't dogs or the ground you spit on.
5. 6
Be positive. Don't be negative or critical. Keep looking for the positive in any given situation.Cheer them up.
6. 7
Be humble. The key to being nice is remembering that you are not "better" than someone else. You're an individual, but everybody has their struggles, and being nice to one another makes life better for everyone.
7. 8
Offer to help. If you see someone struggling or doing anything, offer to help, even doing something as simple as carrying a bag of groceries, or hold the door for someone. You can also be nice to the community and the world by volunteering.
8. 9
Be sincere. Don't be nice as a means to an end. If you just want to be nice so that you can gain preferential treatment, it's quite the opposite of being nice-it's deceptive, shallow and cruel. Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what.
9. 10
Don't talk about other people. Try to be nice to everyone and don't pick favorites. Also, don't be two-faced or talk about people who trust you.
10. 11
Always try to make friends that are nice. If you make friends who are rude, that would make you look rude because you associate yourself with rudeness. If you have friends that are like you, your life will be much better.
edit Tips
Always remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Even though some people may not be nice to you at first, they will the more they get to know you.
If you're still attending school you must make sure to steer clear of drama/gossip. If someone decides to randomly gossip to you,"Hey did you hear what Sue said about Mary?", simply walk away. Its really that easy.
If you get annoyed by someone try to remember they're probably unaware that they are being annoying. Keep positive.
Assume the best about people. Most people don't mean to insult or offend others most of the time. Unless it's overt, assume the slight was accidental.
Bad language, gossiping, whining, selfishness and greediness don't mix with being nice.
Hold the door open for someone who is approaching the door the same time you are. Allow them to go in ahead of you. Do the same if you are leaving a store, hold the door open wide, and allow whoever is leaving to leave before you.
If you are sitting, and you see an older, pregnant, or ill person standing, offer them your seat if there are no other free seats close by.
Remember using vulgar language won't make a very good impression
Be courteous.
If you say the words "no offense" before pointing out something to someone it's most likely rude or offensive.
If you're a guy it may be a bit awkward to smile, especially at other male strangers. If that is the case, then simply ofter a casual "alright?", "hi" or "how's it going?". It works just as well as a smile, and can be more comfortable.
If you find yourself thinking poorly about someone, don't worry; you're not a terrible person because we all do this from time to time. However, try to catch yourself doing it, and think of something nice about that person instead. It'll help you look at people more positively, and you'll quickly break the habit of seeing the worst in someone.
Don't laugh at other peoples' mistakes and don't point out their faults too harshly. It's okay to joke, of course, but use your common sense; think about what you're about to say, and consider the fact that just because you may not be offended by a certain comment, others could be.
Be optimistic about everything, even when you don't particularly feel like it. Always look on the bright side!
Never underestimate the power of optimism, but at the same time, you can crack a joke in a funny way to make you more likable (ex: that class was so boring) or just something unexpected so long as you counteract it with a lot of positive behavior as well. Funny, I find, is nice.
If you are really struggling with being nice to someone you really don't like, go imagine that person truly hurt or crying. If you think 'serves them right,' you need to think deeper. If you would try to comfort them or save them, that usually changes hate to care.
and you should take care of your friends
If someone/a friend around you is being mean, rude, or using bad language, try to break them of the habit.
If someone that you have been mean to in the past isn't acting nice when you do, then they are still holding on to the past, try to apologize and fix whatever you have done.
Stick up for people who are subject to teasing (eg. people with mental disablities). Even if someone just makes a slight comment, point out that they can't help being different and shouldn't be made fun of. If you do this in a tactful way, people will see you as being nice to people less fortunate, and therefore see you as an all round nice person.
edit Warnings
While being nice, do not be a total pushover. Compromise is good, but expect to be treated fairly. Don't be afraid to stand up for what is right and do not hesitate to defend someone. If you find that you're being considerate of someone's time but they are not being considerate of yours, bow out as respectfully as you can and make yourself scarce.
Members of the opposite sex can sometimes misinterpret niceness as a signal that you're attracted to them, or even as flirting. Learn how to gently and subtly let someone know that you're just being nice, which by the way is not the easiest thing to do, but it will prevent a lot of miscommunication. Do not go over the top with being nice because people will think that you are only doing it for yourself.
You may have heard that "It doesn't matter what someone looks like, but it's what's on the inside that counts". This is partially true, but you only have one chance at meeting someone. If you are barbarous the first time, that is how you'll be known. If you are friendly the first impression, people will know you as nice and sincere.
Remember to stand up for others, and do not gossip about them.
Source:
You've been told to be nice since you were a child, but what exactly does it mean to not be mean? "Nice" is a vague term to put it. If your parents never gave a definition. Were your parents nice to you? Being nice to people, especially your friends, can pay off big time.
edit Steps
1. 1
Smile. A smile will let people know that you are pleasant and inviting. If you smile at someone, look them in the eye. For the most part, if you smile at someone, they won't do anything but smile back. If they don't, then maybe they are just having a bad day. It is up to you to set the mood of the encounter. Make it happy by being the first to smile. Normally, making faces or moody looks at someone is not nice.
A Secret to Lose My Belly
I used to have a fat belly until I found this 1 weird trick.
2
Say hola. When you're walking past someone, even a stranger, try to acknowledge their presence with simple "hello" or "hi" or even just a wave or a nod in their direction. Adding the smile to this can make it all the more friendly. Other parents always like kids that say hello and how are you.
2. 3
Ask people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how things are going in their lives, without being nosy or intrusive. If they seem resistant to talking, just let them know that you're always around to talk to, and that you want them to be alright.
3. 4
Be a good listener. Listen when other people are talking to you. It isn't nice to just ignore other peoples' opinions and stories. If you find that someone is becoming rude or pushy, acknowledge their opinion, issue a compliment ("Having your own set of values and beliefs is pretty admirable") and excuse yourself politely ("I'm sorry, I've got to go get the groceries so I can meet my husband/wife when they get home.").
4. 5
Be courteous. Always say "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome." You can also address people by sir or ma'am, depending on the occasion. Be patient, observant, and considerate. Treat people with respect. Even if you don't particularly like someone at first, they could end up being a really interesting and kind person. Don't forget "Excuse me" instead of "MOVE!". Remember: People aren't dogs or the ground you spit on.
5. 6
Be positive. Don't be negative or critical. Keep looking for the positive in any given situation.Cheer them up.
6. 7
Be humble. The key to being nice is remembering that you are not "better" than someone else. You're an individual, but everybody has their struggles, and being nice to one another makes life better for everyone.
7. 8
Offer to help. If you see someone struggling or doing anything, offer to help, even doing something as simple as carrying a bag of groceries, or hold the door for someone. You can also be nice to the community and the world by volunteering.
8. 9
Be sincere. Don't be nice as a means to an end. If you just want to be nice so that you can gain preferential treatment, it's quite the opposite of being nice-it's deceptive, shallow and cruel. Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what.
9. 10
Don't talk about other people. Try to be nice to everyone and don't pick favorites. Also, don't be two-faced or talk about people who trust you.
10. 11
Always try to make friends that are nice. If you make friends who are rude, that would make you look rude because you associate yourself with rudeness. If you have friends that are like you, your life will be much better.
edit Tips
Always remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Even though some people may not be nice to you at first, they will the more they get to know you.
If you're still attending school you must make sure to steer clear of drama/gossip. If someone decides to randomly gossip to you,"Hey did you hear what Sue said about Mary?", simply walk away. Its really that easy.
If you get annoyed by someone try to remember they're probably unaware that they are being annoying. Keep positive.
Assume the best about people. Most people don't mean to insult or offend others most of the time. Unless it's overt, assume the slight was accidental.
Bad language, gossiping, whining, selfishness and greediness don't mix with being nice.
Hold the door open for someone who is approaching the door the same time you are. Allow them to go in ahead of you. Do the same if you are leaving a store, hold the door open wide, and allow whoever is leaving to leave before you.
If you are sitting, and you see an older, pregnant, or ill person standing, offer them your seat if there are no other free seats close by.
Remember using vulgar language won't make a very good impression
Be courteous.
If you say the words "no offense" before pointing out something to someone it's most likely rude or offensive.
If you're a guy it may be a bit awkward to smile, especially at other male strangers. If that is the case, then simply ofter a casual "alright?", "hi" or "how's it going?". It works just as well as a smile, and can be more comfortable.
If you find yourself thinking poorly about someone, don't worry; you're not a terrible person because we all do this from time to time. However, try to catch yourself doing it, and think of something nice about that person instead. It'll help you look at people more positively, and you'll quickly break the habit of seeing the worst in someone.
Don't laugh at other peoples' mistakes and don't point out their faults too harshly. It's okay to joke, of course, but use your common sense; think about what you're about to say, and consider the fact that just because you may not be offended by a certain comment, others could be.
Be optimistic about everything, even when you don't particularly feel like it. Always look on the bright side!
Never underestimate the power of optimism, but at the same time, you can crack a joke in a funny way to make you more likable (ex: that class was so boring) or just something unexpected so long as you counteract it with a lot of positive behavior as well. Funny, I find, is nice.
If you are really struggling with being nice to someone you really don't like, go imagine that person truly hurt or crying. If you think 'serves them right,' you need to think deeper. If you would try to comfort them or save them, that usually changes hate to care.
and you should take care of your friends
If someone/a friend around you is being mean, rude, or using bad language, try to break them of the habit.
If someone that you have been mean to in the past isn't acting nice when you do, then they are still holding on to the past, try to apologize and fix whatever you have done.
Stick up for people who are subject to teasing (eg. people with mental disablities). Even if someone just makes a slight comment, point out that they can't help being different and shouldn't be made fun of. If you do this in a tactful way, people will see you as being nice to people less fortunate, and therefore see you as an all round nice person.
edit Warnings
While being nice, do not be a total pushover. Compromise is good, but expect to be treated fairly. Don't be afraid to stand up for what is right and do not hesitate to defend someone. If you find that you're being considerate of someone's time but they are not being considerate of yours, bow out as respectfully as you can and make yourself scarce.
Members of the opposite sex can sometimes misinterpret niceness as a signal that you're attracted to them, or even as flirting. Learn how to gently and subtly let someone know that you're just being nice, which by the way is not the easiest thing to do, but it will prevent a lot of miscommunication. Do not go over the top with being nice because people will think that you are only doing it for yourself.
You may have heard that "It doesn't matter what someone looks like, but it's what's on the inside that counts". This is partially true, but you only have one chance at meeting someone. If you are barbarous the first time, that is how you'll be known. If you are friendly the first impression, people will know you as nice and sincere.
Remember to stand up for others, and do not gossip about them.
Source:
How to be Likable
How to Be Likable
A few quick tips for improving your image.
edit Steps
1. 1
Be respectful of everyone. Say "Thank you" to everyone who does something for you. So that includes your waiter, the bus boy, bus drivers, someone holding the door for you, etc.
2. 2
Remember that everyone you're interacting with is human, too. Just because you're paying someone to wait on your table doesn't give you the right to be rude; treat them like you'd want to be treated if you were in their position. (It's easier to see what someone is really like by how they treat their inferiors, not their equals -- J.K. Rowling)
3. 3
Do things for other people, even if you don't know them. Hold a door when going in or out of a building, pick something up for a stranger when they drop it, offer to take a picture for someone if they look like they're taking one.
4. 4
Be honest; don't lie to someone to make them feel better. Usually they can tell. When someone asks, "Does this make me look fat?" (Yes, it's a cliche, but it's a classic example) say "Yes" if it does, but offer some advice! If you know your fashion, tell them WHY. They're sure to trust you knowing that you were honest and appreciate that you're helping them.
5. 5
Keep your promises. Make sure you can follow through on all your commmitments. They're called "commitments" because you've committed; don't back out last-minute. Make sure that everyone involved knows if you're going to be late and that will affect their plans.
6. 6
What makes YOU uniquely likable? What talent or trait do friends admire in you? Identify this and take opportunities to showcase it. For instance, if you are good at math, perhaps you could volunteer at a clinic helping low income people balance their budgets or file their taxes. If you are a good singer, get up on kareoke night and entertain the room.
7. 7
Learn and use everyone's names. "I'm not good with names" will not work. Remembering names is a skill that must be worked on.
8. 8
Smile a lot.
edit Tips
Be open. If you look sad or angry, people will perceive that on some level and won't want to talk to you. Even if you are sad or angry, think about all the reasons you should be happy.
Likable people are people who like people. People will sense if you like them. If you want someone to like you, focus on something that you like about them. If you really don't like them... perhaps it is not important that they like you.
A very easy tip for getting a particular person to like you - ask for their help on something. Try to find a request that incorporates their skills or interests. It will show not only that you pay attention to them, but that you respect their authority on the subject that interests them.
edit Warnings
Don't be fake. People will see the lapses in your manners and understand that you're putting on an act. You have to believe what you're doing, otherwise it reflects even worse on you. First impressions are important, however, and it might feel "fake" to act like you care about this new, random person in your life when you don't. Good rule of thumb: Just treat them as you would want to be treated.
Do not try to expressly convince others to like you. Listing your positive attributes will make you come off as arrogant. Let others see your greatness in their own time.
Don't be a social climber.
Source: www.Google.com
A few quick tips for improving your image.
edit Steps
1. 1
Be respectful of everyone. Say "Thank you" to everyone who does something for you. So that includes your waiter, the bus boy, bus drivers, someone holding the door for you, etc.
2. 2
Remember that everyone you're interacting with is human, too. Just because you're paying someone to wait on your table doesn't give you the right to be rude; treat them like you'd want to be treated if you were in their position. (It's easier to see what someone is really like by how they treat their inferiors, not their equals -- J.K. Rowling)
3. 3
Do things for other people, even if you don't know them. Hold a door when going in or out of a building, pick something up for a stranger when they drop it, offer to take a picture for someone if they look like they're taking one.
4. 4
Be honest; don't lie to someone to make them feel better. Usually they can tell. When someone asks, "Does this make me look fat?" (Yes, it's a cliche, but it's a classic example) say "Yes" if it does, but offer some advice! If you know your fashion, tell them WHY. They're sure to trust you knowing that you were honest and appreciate that you're helping them.
5. 5
Keep your promises. Make sure you can follow through on all your commmitments. They're called "commitments" because you've committed; don't back out last-minute. Make sure that everyone involved knows if you're going to be late and that will affect their plans.
6. 6
What makes YOU uniquely likable? What talent or trait do friends admire in you? Identify this and take opportunities to showcase it. For instance, if you are good at math, perhaps you could volunteer at a clinic helping low income people balance their budgets or file their taxes. If you are a good singer, get up on kareoke night and entertain the room.
7. 7
Learn and use everyone's names. "I'm not good with names" will not work. Remembering names is a skill that must be worked on.
8. 8
Smile a lot.
edit Tips
Be open. If you look sad or angry, people will perceive that on some level and won't want to talk to you. Even if you are sad or angry, think about all the reasons you should be happy.
Likable people are people who like people. People will sense if you like them. If you want someone to like you, focus on something that you like about them. If you really don't like them... perhaps it is not important that they like you.
A very easy tip for getting a particular person to like you - ask for their help on something. Try to find a request that incorporates their skills or interests. It will show not only that you pay attention to them, but that you respect their authority on the subject that interests them.
edit Warnings
Don't be fake. People will see the lapses in your manners and understand that you're putting on an act. You have to believe what you're doing, otherwise it reflects even worse on you. First impressions are important, however, and it might feel "fake" to act like you care about this new, random person in your life when you don't. Good rule of thumb: Just treat them as you would want to be treated.
Do not try to expressly convince others to like you. Listing your positive attributes will make you come off as arrogant. Let others see your greatness in their own time.
Don't be a social climber.
Source: www.Google.com
How to be Honest
Due to circumstances beyond my control I am master of my fate and captain of my soul. — Ashleigh Brilliant
Today, at this very moment, what is your life like? Do you have a life plan, or are you, like most of us, simply flying by the seat of your pants? Time waits for no man - or woman. Figure out what is truly important in your life. It is the first step towards taking charge.
edit Steps
1. 1
Choose a focus for your introspection. Good ones include goals, career, money, family, spirituality, and love.
Find Purpose in Prayer
Struggling to find Purpose in Life? God's Purpose, only a Prayer away!
Prayer.JourneyAnswers.com
2. 2
Set some time aside for yourself. Get up earlier or later than your family, or find a quiet space where you can sit and think. Some people think better while doing some other simple task (such as laundry) or while walking. Find out what works for you.
3. 3
Take stock. What is your life all about? What is your purpose in it? What are you good at? What could you improve?
4. 4
Be objective. Self-reflection and assessment can be a very emotional matter, but try to be detached.
5. 5
Be specific. What have you accomplished, why did you do it? What would you like to accomplish? What bothers you? Why does it bother you? What do you like about yourself?
6. 6
Keep things in perspective. So you haven't won your Nobel Peace Prize yet. Neither have most of the rest of us. You're only human, and nobody, including yourself, should expect perfection of you.
7. 7
Write things down. Putting something in words helps you to be specific. You can write in whatever way you feel comfortable expressing yourself, be it lists, notes, cartoons, drawings, or maps. If you're not a writer, consider talking into a tape recorder or recording your thoughts some other way.
8. 8
Consider the good and the bad, both. One way businesses do this is with a "SWOT" diagram. Take four pages or sections of a page and write in them the following
o Strengths. What are you best at? What do you love doing and do just for the passion of it? What do others compliment you on or tell you you're good at? Once you have these listed, consider how you can make them even better, or use them to your advantage.
o Weaknesses. What do you dislike? What doesn't work too well for you? Focusing on the negative can put things into perspective. Once you have listed your weaknesses, you can choose whether to try to improve upon these areas or let them go. If it matters that you're not a strong swimmer, make plans to improve. If not, at least you know your limitations and can stay in the shallow end of the pool.
o Opportunities. These may go hand in hand with your strengths. At a personal level, an opportunity isn't just the potential to make money. Rather, consider where you could make a difference, satisfy your own needs (for instance, to create), or simply improve yourself. Opportunities could be based on how you could use your strengths or how you could improve upon your weaknesses.
o Threats. What could undermine those opportunities, derail your hopes or sidetrack your success, whatever you define those to be? The purpose for listing these is twofold. First, identifying them allows you to see them more clearly. The known is less threatening than the unknown. Second, it allows you to address those risks. Some risks are beyond our control, but many can be lessened or at least planned for.
9. 9
Have an audience, if you are comfortable doing so. Find somebody to talk to. You'll feel really silly saying things that are not true out loud. If you're not yet comfortable talking to a person, choose a pet or stuffed animal, instead.
10. 10
Ask friends whom you trust how they see you. Seeing yourself honestly is not always easy, and an honest assessment by somebody outside can help you to know if your personal assessment of yourself is reasonable.
11. 11
Write a list of all the things you would like to do in the next five years, ten years, or before you die. Don't filter things out yet, just write as fast as you can think of things. If you prefer, write the list focusing on a particular aspect or question in your life.
12. 12
Ask yourself questions, and answer them in lists, essays, or however you see fit. Here are some examples:
o What is important in my life and what is simply dragging me down?
o What would I change about my life?
o Which individuals contribute to my happiness and which do not?
13. 13
Commit to making a change. Tell yourself, it's my life, and if I am to remain happy and healthy, I alone must decide what stays and what goes.
14. 14
Don't beat around the bush. Tell yourself the truth, even if the truth is bad. Remember that saying things that are true will help you fix them. Although sometimes it's hard to self analyze, admitting to yourself that you are jealous of someone is better than trying to deny it. The truth may make you miserable at first, but later it will set you free.
15. 15
Set goals. See the related wikiHows for details.
16. 16
Take action. Put your plan in motion, confident that you are moving toward what you really want. Actions speak louder than words, so acting upon what you discover about yourself is a big part of being honest.
It's been said that honesty is the best policy. It sounds like the simplest thing in the world; but being truly honest with others and with yourself can be a real challenge. Political correctness, being sensitive of other people's feelings, and facing uncomfortable truths about yourself usually requires lots of patience, vigilance and hard work.
edit Steps
1. 1
Understand the workings of dishonesty. Most of us learned to be dishonest as children. The process often began with the realization that different behaviors result in different outcomes. For example, saying certain things (or not saying certain things) garnered desirable approval and praise, or the undesirable disapproval and censure, if not punishment. Indulgence in dishonest behavior to get desired results was just a small step away. With time the thought processes behind such actions get so entrenched in our subconscious mind that one is not even aware of them. A time comes when one loses the capacity to know when and where to draw the line and how negatively does dishonesty affect our lives (see Warnings below). Dishonesty often becomes a tool to:[1]
"I Hated Public Speaking"
o Pretend that there is nothing wrong with us
o Shift blame to others
o Avoid embarrassment
o Distract ourselves
o Minimize conflict
o Avoid responsibility or work
2. 2
Fess up. Be willing to address issues where you have been less than honest in the past, whether you took a cookie and then denied it, or blatantly lied about whose fault an automobile accident was. While reviewing your past transgressions can create discomfort and guilt, recognizing where you have been dishonest in the past can help you identify patterns and stop them from continuing.
o If you feel guilty for having been dishonest in the past, apologize to the person you lied to and/or find a creative way to make things right. For example, if you kept money that you knew wasn't yours and didn't make a good faith effort to return it to its owner, make an equivalent or greater donation to charity. If you've lied to a person who plays an important role in your life (a significant other, relative, or friend) the best (but most difficult) thing to do is come clean.
o List the areas where you may have a weakness. It may be as simple as a tendency to make up excuses for failures, or as complicated as a penchant for stealing. Remember that dishonesty is rooted in fear, so you must look for and face those fears. By listing areas where you have a problem, and then working to deal with them, you can consciously battle these habits. If you find yourself lying because you fear disapproval from someone, for example, perhaps you need to learn how to stop being a people pleaser and be yourself. Most importantly, admit your errors so that you can forgive yourself and use those experiences to reinforce your determination to do better. You can't fix what you don't acknowledge as a problem.
3. 3
Think honestly. This may sound silly, but if you don't think honestly, you won't BE honest. Prejudices and preconceived ideas can make it difficult to distinguish what the truth really is. Don't take things at face value. When you read, see, or hear something, don't make assumptions. Offer the benefit of the doubt, and be skeptical if necessary. When you make a commitment to communicating and understanding the truth, it can be humbling to realize that most of what we think we know is actually just based on assumptions rather than facts. Keep in mind a Jewish proverb: "What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth."
4. 4
Practice being honest on the simple things. This is especially important in situations where "coloring" the facts would make no difference in the world, which covers a good bit of life (from speaking the truth, to avoiding simple thoughtless acts like picking up someone's pencil or grabbing an apple off the neighbor's tree to snack on without thinking about it). Abraham Lincoln became famous for going to great lengths to return a few cents that did not belong to him, hence the nickname "Honest Abe". By applying honesty to the little things, you will get in the habit of being honest in general.
5. 5
Exercise tact. We all know that being literally honest can hurt feelings and turn friendships sour. It can also be misinterpreted as criticism or a lack of support. It's very tempting to tell a "white lie" when dealing with sensitive loved ones (especially children), but you can still be honest by being creative in how you express the truth.
o Emphasize the positive. Shift the focus away from what, in all honesty, you think is negative. Instead of saying "No, I don't think you look good in those pants" say "They're not as flattering as the black dress—that dress really looks amazing on you. Have you tried it on with those stockings you wore to my cousin's wedding last year?"
o You have the right to remain silent. If you're pushed into a corner and don't know how to respond, say "Can we talk about this another time?" or "I really don't feel comfortable talking about this. You should really address this with..." Don't say "I don't know" if you really do know—it can come back to bite you in the rear later on. The person might catch on and realize that you know something, and they might get pushy. Repeat yourself and leave the conversation as quickly as possible.
o When all else fails, be honest—but gently. Wrap the potentially hurtful truth in appreciation, praise, and, if applicable, affection.
6. 6
Find a balance between full disclosure and privacy. Just because you're honest doesn't mean you have to air out all of your (or anybody else's) business. There are some things that we don't talk about because it's not information that the person asking may be entitled to. On the other hand, withholding information that you know should be disclosed is lying by omission. For instance, not telling a romantic partner that you have a child or that you've been married in the past, for example, is objectionable by most. Deciding what information a person should or should not know is a personal decision. Just because you believe a person is better off not knowing something doesn't mean you're acting in their best interest by hiding that information. Follow your gut, and put yourself in that person's position: "If I was in their shoes, would I rightfully feel betrayed if this information wasn't shared with me at an appropriate time?"
7. 7
Remember that being honest isn't easy. At its core, being honest is difficult because it makes us vulnerable. It shows people who we really are and that we make mistakes, which gives them a chance to criticize and reject in a more hurtful way than if we'd hidden the truth or lied to begin with. And sometimes, the truth just hurts. But, honesty develops character, as well as credibility and trust, all of which are the building blocks of high self-esteem and healthy relationships. Being honest isn't a goal that you check off a list—it's an ongoing process that will both challenge and benefit you throughout your life. Nothing is as liberating as having nothing to hide.
Source: www.Google.com
Today, at this very moment, what is your life like? Do you have a life plan, or are you, like most of us, simply flying by the seat of your pants? Time waits for no man - or woman. Figure out what is truly important in your life. It is the first step towards taking charge.
edit Steps
1. 1
Choose a focus for your introspection. Good ones include goals, career, money, family, spirituality, and love.
Find Purpose in Prayer
Struggling to find Purpose in Life? God's Purpose, only a Prayer away!
Prayer.JourneyAnswers.com
2. 2
Set some time aside for yourself. Get up earlier or later than your family, or find a quiet space where you can sit and think. Some people think better while doing some other simple task (such as laundry) or while walking. Find out what works for you.
3. 3
Take stock. What is your life all about? What is your purpose in it? What are you good at? What could you improve?
4. 4
Be objective. Self-reflection and assessment can be a very emotional matter, but try to be detached.
5. 5
Be specific. What have you accomplished, why did you do it? What would you like to accomplish? What bothers you? Why does it bother you? What do you like about yourself?
6. 6
Keep things in perspective. So you haven't won your Nobel Peace Prize yet. Neither have most of the rest of us. You're only human, and nobody, including yourself, should expect perfection of you.
7. 7
Write things down. Putting something in words helps you to be specific. You can write in whatever way you feel comfortable expressing yourself, be it lists, notes, cartoons, drawings, or maps. If you're not a writer, consider talking into a tape recorder or recording your thoughts some other way.
8. 8
Consider the good and the bad, both. One way businesses do this is with a "SWOT" diagram. Take four pages or sections of a page and write in them the following
o Strengths. What are you best at? What do you love doing and do just for the passion of it? What do others compliment you on or tell you you're good at? Once you have these listed, consider how you can make them even better, or use them to your advantage.
o Weaknesses. What do you dislike? What doesn't work too well for you? Focusing on the negative can put things into perspective. Once you have listed your weaknesses, you can choose whether to try to improve upon these areas or let them go. If it matters that you're not a strong swimmer, make plans to improve. If not, at least you know your limitations and can stay in the shallow end of the pool.
o Opportunities. These may go hand in hand with your strengths. At a personal level, an opportunity isn't just the potential to make money. Rather, consider where you could make a difference, satisfy your own needs (for instance, to create), or simply improve yourself. Opportunities could be based on how you could use your strengths or how you could improve upon your weaknesses.
o Threats. What could undermine those opportunities, derail your hopes or sidetrack your success, whatever you define those to be? The purpose for listing these is twofold. First, identifying them allows you to see them more clearly. The known is less threatening than the unknown. Second, it allows you to address those risks. Some risks are beyond our control, but many can be lessened or at least planned for.
9. 9
Have an audience, if you are comfortable doing so. Find somebody to talk to. You'll feel really silly saying things that are not true out loud. If you're not yet comfortable talking to a person, choose a pet or stuffed animal, instead.
10. 10
Ask friends whom you trust how they see you. Seeing yourself honestly is not always easy, and an honest assessment by somebody outside can help you to know if your personal assessment of yourself is reasonable.
11. 11
Write a list of all the things you would like to do in the next five years, ten years, or before you die. Don't filter things out yet, just write as fast as you can think of things. If you prefer, write the list focusing on a particular aspect or question in your life.
12. 12
Ask yourself questions, and answer them in lists, essays, or however you see fit. Here are some examples:
o What is important in my life and what is simply dragging me down?
o What would I change about my life?
o Which individuals contribute to my happiness and which do not?
13. 13
Commit to making a change. Tell yourself, it's my life, and if I am to remain happy and healthy, I alone must decide what stays and what goes.
14. 14
Don't beat around the bush. Tell yourself the truth, even if the truth is bad. Remember that saying things that are true will help you fix them. Although sometimes it's hard to self analyze, admitting to yourself that you are jealous of someone is better than trying to deny it. The truth may make you miserable at first, but later it will set you free.
15. 15
Set goals. See the related wikiHows for details.
16. 16
Take action. Put your plan in motion, confident that you are moving toward what you really want. Actions speak louder than words, so acting upon what you discover about yourself is a big part of being honest.
It's been said that honesty is the best policy. It sounds like the simplest thing in the world; but being truly honest with others and with yourself can be a real challenge. Political correctness, being sensitive of other people's feelings, and facing uncomfortable truths about yourself usually requires lots of patience, vigilance and hard work.
edit Steps
1. 1
Understand the workings of dishonesty. Most of us learned to be dishonest as children. The process often began with the realization that different behaviors result in different outcomes. For example, saying certain things (or not saying certain things) garnered desirable approval and praise, or the undesirable disapproval and censure, if not punishment. Indulgence in dishonest behavior to get desired results was just a small step away. With time the thought processes behind such actions get so entrenched in our subconscious mind that one is not even aware of them. A time comes when one loses the capacity to know when and where to draw the line and how negatively does dishonesty affect our lives (see Warnings below). Dishonesty often becomes a tool to:[1]
"I Hated Public Speaking"
o Pretend that there is nothing wrong with us
o Shift blame to others
o Avoid embarrassment
o Distract ourselves
o Minimize conflict
o Avoid responsibility or work
2. 2
Fess up. Be willing to address issues where you have been less than honest in the past, whether you took a cookie and then denied it, or blatantly lied about whose fault an automobile accident was. While reviewing your past transgressions can create discomfort and guilt, recognizing where you have been dishonest in the past can help you identify patterns and stop them from continuing.
o If you feel guilty for having been dishonest in the past, apologize to the person you lied to and/or find a creative way to make things right. For example, if you kept money that you knew wasn't yours and didn't make a good faith effort to return it to its owner, make an equivalent or greater donation to charity. If you've lied to a person who plays an important role in your life (a significant other, relative, or friend) the best (but most difficult) thing to do is come clean.
o List the areas where you may have a weakness. It may be as simple as a tendency to make up excuses for failures, or as complicated as a penchant for stealing. Remember that dishonesty is rooted in fear, so you must look for and face those fears. By listing areas where you have a problem, and then working to deal with them, you can consciously battle these habits. If you find yourself lying because you fear disapproval from someone, for example, perhaps you need to learn how to stop being a people pleaser and be yourself. Most importantly, admit your errors so that you can forgive yourself and use those experiences to reinforce your determination to do better. You can't fix what you don't acknowledge as a problem.
3. 3
Think honestly. This may sound silly, but if you don't think honestly, you won't BE honest. Prejudices and preconceived ideas can make it difficult to distinguish what the truth really is. Don't take things at face value. When you read, see, or hear something, don't make assumptions. Offer the benefit of the doubt, and be skeptical if necessary. When you make a commitment to communicating and understanding the truth, it can be humbling to realize that most of what we think we know is actually just based on assumptions rather than facts. Keep in mind a Jewish proverb: "What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth."
4. 4
Practice being honest on the simple things. This is especially important in situations where "coloring" the facts would make no difference in the world, which covers a good bit of life (from speaking the truth, to avoiding simple thoughtless acts like picking up someone's pencil or grabbing an apple off the neighbor's tree to snack on without thinking about it). Abraham Lincoln became famous for going to great lengths to return a few cents that did not belong to him, hence the nickname "Honest Abe". By applying honesty to the little things, you will get in the habit of being honest in general.
5. 5
Exercise tact. We all know that being literally honest can hurt feelings and turn friendships sour. It can also be misinterpreted as criticism or a lack of support. It's very tempting to tell a "white lie" when dealing with sensitive loved ones (especially children), but you can still be honest by being creative in how you express the truth.
o Emphasize the positive. Shift the focus away from what, in all honesty, you think is negative. Instead of saying "No, I don't think you look good in those pants" say "They're not as flattering as the black dress—that dress really looks amazing on you. Have you tried it on with those stockings you wore to my cousin's wedding last year?"
o You have the right to remain silent. If you're pushed into a corner and don't know how to respond, say "Can we talk about this another time?" or "I really don't feel comfortable talking about this. You should really address this with..." Don't say "I don't know" if you really do know—it can come back to bite you in the rear later on. The person might catch on and realize that you know something, and they might get pushy. Repeat yourself and leave the conversation as quickly as possible.
o When all else fails, be honest—but gently. Wrap the potentially hurtful truth in appreciation, praise, and, if applicable, affection.
6. 6
Find a balance between full disclosure and privacy. Just because you're honest doesn't mean you have to air out all of your (or anybody else's) business. There are some things that we don't talk about because it's not information that the person asking may be entitled to. On the other hand, withholding information that you know should be disclosed is lying by omission. For instance, not telling a romantic partner that you have a child or that you've been married in the past, for example, is objectionable by most. Deciding what information a person should or should not know is a personal decision. Just because you believe a person is better off not knowing something doesn't mean you're acting in their best interest by hiding that information. Follow your gut, and put yourself in that person's position: "If I was in their shoes, would I rightfully feel betrayed if this information wasn't shared with me at an appropriate time?"
7. 7
Remember that being honest isn't easy. At its core, being honest is difficult because it makes us vulnerable. It shows people who we really are and that we make mistakes, which gives them a chance to criticize and reject in a more hurtful way than if we'd hidden the truth or lied to begin with. And sometimes, the truth just hurts. But, honesty develops character, as well as credibility and trust, all of which are the building blocks of high self-esteem and healthy relationships. Being honest isn't a goal that you check off a list—it's an ongoing process that will both challenge and benefit you throughout your life. Nothing is as liberating as having nothing to hide.
Source: www.Google.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)