How to be Honest

Due to circumstances beyond my control I am master of my fate and captain of my soul. — Ashleigh Brilliant
Today, at this very moment, what is your life like? Do you have a life plan, or are you, like most of us, simply flying by the seat of your pants? Time waits for no man - or woman. Figure out what is truly important in your life. It is the first step towards taking charge.
edit Steps
1. 1
Choose a focus for your introspection. Good ones include goals, career, money, family, spirituality, and love.
Find Purpose in Prayer
Struggling to find Purpose in Life? God's Purpose, only a Prayer away!
Prayer.JourneyAnswers.com
2. 2
Set some time aside for yourself. Get up earlier or later than your family, or find a quiet space where you can sit and think. Some people think better while doing some other simple task (such as laundry) or while walking. Find out what works for you.
3. 3
Take stock. What is your life all about? What is your purpose in it? What are you good at? What could you improve?
4. 4
Be objective. Self-reflection and assessment can be a very emotional matter, but try to be detached.
5. 5
Be specific. What have you accomplished, why did you do it? What would you like to accomplish? What bothers you? Why does it bother you? What do you like about yourself?
6. 6
Keep things in perspective. So you haven't won your Nobel Peace Prize yet. Neither have most of the rest of us. You're only human, and nobody, including yourself, should expect perfection of you.
7. 7
Write things down. Putting something in words helps you to be specific. You can write in whatever way you feel comfortable expressing yourself, be it lists, notes, cartoons, drawings, or maps. If you're not a writer, consider talking into a tape recorder or recording your thoughts some other way.
8. 8
Consider the good and the bad, both. One way businesses do this is with a "SWOT" diagram. Take four pages or sections of a page and write in them the following
o Strengths. What are you best at? What do you love doing and do just for the passion of it? What do others compliment you on or tell you you're good at? Once you have these listed, consider how you can make them even better, or use them to your advantage.
o Weaknesses. What do you dislike? What doesn't work too well for you? Focusing on the negative can put things into perspective. Once you have listed your weaknesses, you can choose whether to try to improve upon these areas or let them go. If it matters that you're not a strong swimmer, make plans to improve. If not, at least you know your limitations and can stay in the shallow end of the pool.
o Opportunities. These may go hand in hand with your strengths. At a personal level, an opportunity isn't just the potential to make money. Rather, consider where you could make a difference, satisfy your own needs (for instance, to create), or simply improve yourself. Opportunities could be based on how you could use your strengths or how you could improve upon your weaknesses.
o Threats. What could undermine those opportunities, derail your hopes or sidetrack your success, whatever you define those to be? The purpose for listing these is twofold. First, identifying them allows you to see them more clearly. The known is less threatening than the unknown. Second, it allows you to address those risks. Some risks are beyond our control, but many can be lessened or at least planned for.
9. 9
Have an audience, if you are comfortable doing so. Find somebody to talk to. You'll feel really silly saying things that are not true out loud. If you're not yet comfortable talking to a person, choose a pet or stuffed animal, instead.
10. 10
Ask friends whom you trust how they see you. Seeing yourself honestly is not always easy, and an honest assessment by somebody outside can help you to know if your personal assessment of yourself is reasonable.
11. 11
Write a list of all the things you would like to do in the next five years, ten years, or before you die. Don't filter things out yet, just write as fast as you can think of things. If you prefer, write the list focusing on a particular aspect or question in your life.
12. 12
Ask yourself questions, and answer them in lists, essays, or however you see fit. Here are some examples:
o What is important in my life and what is simply dragging me down?
o What would I change about my life?
o Which individuals contribute to my happiness and which do not?
13. 13
Commit to making a change. Tell yourself, it's my life, and if I am to remain happy and healthy, I alone must decide what stays and what goes.
14. 14
Don't beat around the bush. Tell yourself the truth, even if the truth is bad. Remember that saying things that are true will help you fix them. Although sometimes it's hard to self analyze, admitting to yourself that you are jealous of someone is better than trying to deny it. The truth may make you miserable at first, but later it will set you free.
15. 15
Set goals. See the related wikiHows for details.
16. 16
Take action. Put your plan in motion, confident that you are moving toward what you really want. Actions speak louder than words, so acting upon what you discover about yourself is a big part of being honest.


It's been said that honesty is the best policy. It sounds like the simplest thing in the world; but being truly honest with others and with yourself can be a real challenge. Political correctness, being sensitive of other people's feelings, and facing uncomfortable truths about yourself usually requires lots of patience, vigilance and hard work.
edit Steps
1. 1
Understand the workings of dishonesty. Most of us learned to be dishonest as children. The process often began with the realization that different behaviors result in different outcomes. For example, saying certain things (or not saying certain things) garnered desirable approval and praise, or the undesirable disapproval and censure, if not punishment. Indulgence in dishonest behavior to get desired results was just a small step away. With time the thought processes behind such actions get so entrenched in our subconscious mind that one is not even aware of them. A time comes when one loses the capacity to know when and where to draw the line and how negatively does dishonesty affect our lives (see Warnings below). Dishonesty often becomes a tool to:[1]
"I Hated Public Speaking"
o Pretend that there is nothing wrong with us
o Shift blame to others
o Avoid embarrassment
o Distract ourselves
o Minimize conflict
o Avoid responsibility or work
2. 2
Fess up. Be willing to address issues where you have been less than honest in the past, whether you took a cookie and then denied it, or blatantly lied about whose fault an automobile accident was. While reviewing your past transgressions can create discomfort and guilt, recognizing where you have been dishonest in the past can help you identify patterns and stop them from continuing.
o If you feel guilty for having been dishonest in the past, apologize to the person you lied to and/or find a creative way to make things right. For example, if you kept money that you knew wasn't yours and didn't make a good faith effort to return it to its owner, make an equivalent or greater donation to charity. If you've lied to a person who plays an important role in your life (a significant other, relative, or friend) the best (but most difficult) thing to do is come clean.
o List the areas where you may have a weakness. It may be as simple as a tendency to make up excuses for failures, or as complicated as a penchant for stealing. Remember that dishonesty is rooted in fear, so you must look for and face those fears. By listing areas where you have a problem, and then working to deal with them, you can consciously battle these habits. If you find yourself lying because you fear disapproval from someone, for example, perhaps you need to learn how to stop being a people pleaser and be yourself. Most importantly, admit your errors so that you can forgive yourself and use those experiences to reinforce your determination to do better. You can't fix what you don't acknowledge as a problem.
3. 3
Think honestly. This may sound silly, but if you don't think honestly, you won't BE honest. Prejudices and preconceived ideas can make it difficult to distinguish what the truth really is. Don't take things at face value. When you read, see, or hear something, don't make assumptions. Offer the benefit of the doubt, and be skeptical if necessary. When you make a commitment to communicating and understanding the truth, it can be humbling to realize that most of what we think we know is actually just based on assumptions rather than facts. Keep in mind a Jewish proverb: "What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth."
4. 4
Practice being honest on the simple things. This is especially important in situations where "coloring" the facts would make no difference in the world, which covers a good bit of life (from speaking the truth, to avoiding simple thoughtless acts like picking up someone's pencil or grabbing an apple off the neighbor's tree to snack on without thinking about it). Abraham Lincoln became famous for going to great lengths to return a few cents that did not belong to him, hence the nickname "Honest Abe". By applying honesty to the little things, you will get in the habit of being honest in general.
5. 5
Exercise tact. We all know that being literally honest can hurt feelings and turn friendships sour. It can also be misinterpreted as criticism or a lack of support. It's very tempting to tell a "white lie" when dealing with sensitive loved ones (especially children), but you can still be honest by being creative in how you express the truth.
o Emphasize the positive. Shift the focus away from what, in all honesty, you think is negative. Instead of saying "No, I don't think you look good in those pants" say "They're not as flattering as the black dress—that dress really looks amazing on you. Have you tried it on with those stockings you wore to my cousin's wedding last year?"
o You have the right to remain silent. If you're pushed into a corner and don't know how to respond, say "Can we talk about this another time?" or "I really don't feel comfortable talking about this. You should really address this with..." Don't say "I don't know" if you really do know—it can come back to bite you in the rear later on. The person might catch on and realize that you know something, and they might get pushy. Repeat yourself and leave the conversation as quickly as possible.
o When all else fails, be honest—but gently. Wrap the potentially hurtful truth in appreciation, praise, and, if applicable, affection.
6. 6
Find a balance between full disclosure and privacy. Just because you're honest doesn't mean you have to air out all of your (or anybody else's) business. There are some things that we don't talk about because it's not information that the person asking may be entitled to. On the other hand, withholding information that you know should be disclosed is lying by omission. For instance, not telling a romantic partner that you have a child or that you've been married in the past, for example, is objectionable by most. Deciding what information a person should or should not know is a personal decision. Just because you believe a person is better off not knowing something doesn't mean you're acting in their best interest by hiding that information. Follow your gut, and put yourself in that person's position: "If I was in their shoes, would I rightfully feel betrayed if this information wasn't shared with me at an appropriate time?"
7. 7
Remember that being honest isn't easy. At its core, being honest is difficult because it makes us vulnerable. It shows people who we really are and that we make mistakes, which gives them a chance to criticize and reject in a more hurtful way than if we'd hidden the truth or lied to begin with. And sometimes, the truth just hurts. But, honesty develops character, as well as credibility and trust, all of which are the building blocks of high self-esteem and healthy relationships. Being honest isn't a goal that you check off a list—it's an ongoing process that will both challenge and benefit you throughout your life. Nothing is as liberating as having nothing to hide.


Source: www.Google.com